Sunday, August 7

day ?????: reality

It's been a while and forgive me if I no longer pour out my heart and soul. Things have changed (slightly) and the less people know about the private me, the better. I think

I struggle with my new life. I found my passion a few years back and I did my darnest to make something out of it. And so I did to an extent. My new found "fame" (if you will) hasn't really done me a heck of a lot. There isn't the flooded inbox of requests or the inpouring of phone calls. I still work at monkeyco. I still haven't found the cajones to walk out and go out on my own.

What I struggle with, isn't so much that I'm not drowning in new business. Its more that I struggle with not telling people about what I do and I can't actively promote what I do without sounding like a complete undedicated traitor. Its like a split personality - a Jekyll and Hyde situation. One can't talk about the other, and part of my life can't really know about the other. I've spent so many years of my life living on the sidelines, it's hard to push myself and promote myself like so many others do. I've tried to fb, twitter and the like, but it all feels fake. I feel like a fraud pretending to be someone else.