Wednesday, July 25

day 11187: monkeyco

I made someone cry today.

Serves her right for leaving every day at 5:00 sharp and not doing the stuff I asked her to do. Damn punchclockers. Argh.

Tuesday, July 24

day 11186: it kicked my ass, so i kicked its ass, and then my ass got kicked again

Nothing is as easy as it seems anymore. The climbs are sandbagged, super reachy and require a whole lot of strength, but very little finesse. A 5.10a is a no-feet, jump start smear to a two handed left sidepull, right reach, right highstep that is insanely crazy for a height-challenged pseudo-climber like me.

I’ve lead 5.11b’s, so a piddly little 5.10a on toprope should be a walk in the park. No such luck. Two weeks ago, the no-feet, jump start smear to the two handed left sidepull kicked my ass. I fell like Spiderman out of webbing fluid, and thunked repeatedly onto the padded mats below. Needless to say, my ego took a heck of a beating and I knew that I’d have to take my revenge on the wall another day.

Which brings us to last night…

The no-feet, jump start smear to a two handed left sidepull, right reach, right highstep was no problem. I muscled my way through it, and finessed the itty bitty left hand two finger crimp, solid left, super-reach to bottom inch of the underside of the jug that gave me just enough grip to match feet, high step… crap…

My right hip gave two pops, I felt something tear in my gluteus maximus (aka bum muscle) and today anything that requires the use of my butt is pure agony. Simple things like sleeping on my side, sitting at my desk, sitting on the toilet, getting up from a seated position, walking in a straight line, and taking my foot off the gas pedal is embarrassingly difficult. Who the heck has ever heard of someone pulling a bum muscle?!

So now I’ve booked a massage, or rump rub, if you will, and hopefully things will be peachy keen on the morrow. Otherwise, I’ll be all bummed out… :(

Oh yeah... and ps... THANK GOD for well padded office chairs that can lean wayyyy back, cuz I'll be working like Superman flying... all morning.

Sunday, July 22

day 11184: finally... closure

All-time favourite Harry Potter quotes:

"Wands are only as powerful as the wizards who use them. Some wizards just like to boast that theirs are bigger and better than other people's."


Thanks J.K. Rowling. You rock.

Now hurry up and read it, people. I need to talk about this.

Wednesday, July 18

day 11180: wand envy

QWW: You got plans for the weekend?

schmassion: Harry Potter BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It'd be me and my boy, snuggled up in bed. That's so pathetic. I need a life. Or a drink.

QWW: He's a bit young, isn't he?

schmassion: Meh... he's got that great wand.

QWW: Dirty

Monday, July 16

day 11178: 2 reasons why i will never get a job as a secretary and am destined for management

1. I keep typing "Polar" as "Police"

2. I keep typing "Pension" as "Penison"

Bonus: I spelt "typing" as "tying" in both #1 AND #2 above.

Sunday, July 15

day 11177: why i hate bridget jones

"I like you just the way you are."

Two movies about 8 little words and I spend the ENTIRE WEEKEND vegetating in front of the tv and reading a hilarious, stereotypical, pro/anti-French novel while gorging myself on leftovers (seriously... ugh) and bon-bons (not seriously... ) instead of heading out rollerblading or doing something remotely physically active or at least something social.

Why? Because I can. And because somewhere out there is a guy who will like me just the way I am... even though at the moment, I'm a thirty-something crabby, jiggly, lazy-ass, anti-social idiot who really would rather spend the better part of the weekend hiding from the world than going out and potentially meeting the man of her dreams.

Maybe next weekend. Ain't life grand?

Saturday, July 14

day 11176: "piyo's water just broke... there is no baby shower today!"

Like Piyo, it seems that baby Kaitlynne will be one step ahead of her peers. Forget making an entrance, she's making her statement... three weeks early! How can there possibly be any more drama than that! Not yet born, and a drama princess already!

Good timing, little one. You saved your Mama an afternoon of sampling baby food and identifying dirty diapers. But you also made her miss the cake that I was planning on surprising her with.

That just means I promise you something more spectacular on your first birthday. And because I love you already, I'll endure all of Monday's ribbing and teasing about my ticking biological clock when I bring the leftover cake to work.

(ps... check out more pics of kaitlynne's ark, cuz I worked damned hard on it, and someone has to see it!)

Thursday, July 5

day 11167: trying to let go

I went to hot yoga today for the first time in a couple years, and hated every single second of it.

I'm so full of hate these days, aren't I.

Wednesday, July 4

day 11166: the vicious cycle of not looking good

I'm an emotional eater. When I stress, I eat. When I eat too much, I stress.

When I need to look good for something, I stress. Then I eat. Then I don't look good, and stress even more.

Argh. Damn weddings.