Tuesday, June 27

day 10798: how to survive on $20 a week or less… part two

Day 1 spending… $0.00.

Secret: A surprisingly hearty breakfast of frozen blueberries (thawed in the micronuker, of course) mixed with a packet of 2 year old instant oatmeal. And then a delicious lunch of stirfry made with the freshest of ingredients – 3 month old previously frozen ground beef and extra fermented (extra old) kim chi.

I’m cleaning out the fridge AND I’m eating well…


[ed note: I feel the need to change the title to “how to survive on $20 a week or less… on breakfast, lunch and coffee… because anything more would just be completely ridiculous”]

Monday, June 26

day 10797 ½: today's perplexing questions...

Is there an asian equivalent to white trash?

What do you call a caucasian person who wants to be asian?
day 10797: how to survive on $20 a week or less

It's the first hour of the first day of the "$20 week". Already, I've spent the better part of my morning fantasizing about all the different things I want to go buy for breakfast.

I'm not even hungry.

I want to buy chai... I want to buy coffee...

I want to buy *gasp* a MUFFIN... I DON'T EVEN LIKE MUFFINS!!

Wednesday, June 21

day 10792: i lub me my perks

It's always a good day at monkeyco when a steel drum band makes a company-wide announcement calling everyone down to the bar to do the limbo.

It's even better when you sneak out right afterwards for a massage.

Monday, June 19

day 10790: something my therapist should have told me

Apparently, I have a lot of pent up rage. In the past two weeks, I've pummelled a whole assortment of people who have pissed me off in the last year.

Now, if only it happened in real life and not in my dreams. Maybe then I'll feel vindicated and ready to move on.

Sunday, June 18

day 10789: how i graduated from the school of life with an "f"

Lesson #6341215: Set goals

When you think you've hit rock bottom, you still have a fair ways to go.

Saturday, June 17

day 10788: i deserve deserve really want a fairy tale ending

I'm not saying that my life is miserable or that I've been through such hardship and pain that the radiance of karma should shine down upon me in all it's magnificent glory. That's not the point.

The point is that I while I might not deserve a fairy tale ending or a happy ever after, I want it. I want it badly.

I want it all... the glass slipper, the flowers, and most of all, the prince charming.

Thursday, June 15

day 10786: social misfit

When I was 11, I only knew that making crank calls at sleepovers was “COOL”. I didn’t know what you were supposed to do when you crank called someone, I just knew that it was “FUN” to call someone, giggle and hang up.

What I didn’t know was that it wasn’t “COOL” to call your other friends’ houses, ask their parents if you could speak to them, and when they came to the phone, giggle and hang up. Inevitably, they’d call back, because, like… you’re 11, and you call that house a billion times a day anyway, so their parents RECOGNIZE YOUR VOICE.

Wednesday, June 14

day 10785: overheard...

teacher: kid... would I lie to you?
kid: yeah...
teacher: You're right.


chick-on-the-phone: No anal. Why would I put something in my mouth that's been up my ass... I don't care how many showers you take. That's gross!

Monday, June 12

day 10783: screw with me once, shame on you...

Screw with me twice, shame on me...

Try to force your way back in my life directly or indirectly, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU??

Go to hell.

Sunday, June 11

day 10782: space

There are days when you sit at home on the couch. On the verge of tears because you’re missing something that you don’t even know you’re missing. You wait for something to happen, but you don’t know what it is that you’re waiting for.

You only know that your life is not as complete as you pretend it to be. You’re not quite as together as people think, and things aren’t really falling into place so much as you once hoped that they would.

The goals and ideas that you once knew now no longer exist. Timelines have come and gone, and the only perception of reality that you have for yourself is now in what people expect of you, but not of what you expect of yourself

The truths you once knew have now become a lie, and you are lying to yourself every moment of every waking second, knowing that you’re still searching for the meaning, the purpose, the thing, task or being that will make your life complete.

And the scariest part of it all is that you’re terrified that you won’t recognize it when you find it, so you’ll forever keep looking for something that doesn’t really exist.

Saturday, June 10

day 10781: what the devil is up with the devil?

Waking up in the shower with the water still running at 5am in the morning after a night of heaving out your insides is probably not most people's definition of a good Friday night.

It's not mine either. Really.

Tuesday, June 6

day 10777: 10”… size (er… length) matters…

It took three years of tangles, tears and threats to grow my hair past my waist. Tomorrow night I will bid a sad farewell to it all. But in the end, it’s worth it because there will be a kid out there with a smile bigger than mine.


Monday, June 5

day 10776: so full of hate

Things bug me, and I obsess about them. No matter how hard I try, I can’t stop it.

Saps. my. energy.

So. tired. of. all. this.