Thursday, March 18

day 12155: so maybe i am a little too excited

Subject: Yayayya!

me: Reservation made!! We're sitting at the sushi bar! :)
sista: haha. is this the place with the hot sushi chef? haha.
me: no comment. why would you think that?
sista: It was the double ya on the "yayayya" that gave it away ;)
wscus: That's funny - plus were sitting at the sushi bar :)
sista: Exactly! (Double wink!) ;) ;)
me: It's all about the food. :) :)
cusbo: eye candy isn't real food.

Tuesday, March 16

day 12153: I chose to be tired. I chose to be resentful.

Choice… one little word with so much meaning. Sure, everyone knows they have a choice in what they do and how they live their lives, but do they recognize that everything they do, they do because they made a choice?

Accountability, responsibility… acceptance of the choice, it’s too easy to pass things off as “I didn’t want to, I had to, or I was backed into a corner and forced to do it.” Who held a gun to your head and who made the decision for you? Betcha a hundred million buckaroos no one did. It was all you, sucka.

An idea so simple, yet so profound, I almost kicked myself when I figured it out. Things don’t just happen to me or to anyone else. Most things are within our realm of control and are direct results of things where we made a conscious or subconscious decision. And if I actively take responsibility for the choices that I made, make or will make, my outlook on things are completely different.

It’s no longer I’m so tired I could cry. Why won’t people stop with their asinine demands? Now, it’s become I chose to take on a bunch of crazy projects even though I knew it was going to be a crazy hectic time at work for me. I chose to be busy because I know this will lead to something bigger and better. I’m super tired and it’s okay because I knew I would be coming in to this and I made a choice. And talking myself through that makes things start to feel a little bit better and a little bit lighter.

It’s hard to remember to apply this consistently to everything. I still find myself grumbling with stress almost as much as I used to, but letting go of negativity and letting go of things is slowly getting easier. I find myself being at peace a lot more, happier in my day to day and when I remember to talk myself through this, I’m a heck of a lot less complain-y.

Oh, and I hate people a lot less. That’s a good thing.

Wednesday, March 10

day 12148: taming the brat

The brat and I have been going to yet another round of obedience school. It's not that she doesn't know what is wanted from her, she does. She's just a stubborn crazy dog who'd rather spend her day hiding under the bed than to face a 5 minute car ride to the beach.

Bribes aside, it was pretty ironic that at the last class, she was the superstar heeler and the dunce at sitting still.