day 10287: the grand gesture
It’s finally over. All the effort, stress and anticipation of the last few weeks culminated on Friday night in one big glorious bash. They came, drank and donated as they partook in the night’s entertainment… a kick ass dj, a very funny comedy act, and of course, the long-dreaded bachelor/bachelorette auctions.
Apart from a couple of hiccups midday (i.e. half the alcohol thought to be lost in transit), a few “issues” with the seating arrangements, and a dinner that was delayed by an hour, everything flowed as it should. I laughed, I flirted, I looked “absolutely, smashingly, amazing” in my stunning black dress (quote Triscuit’s mother). I went up on stage three times in front of 525 people - once to accept a plaque on behalf of my very generous monkeyco, once to be sold to the highest bidder, and once to auction off the “very white Barry White” to the highest bidder.
My hands were frozen, my face was flaming, my nerves were shot, but the adrenaline flowed. I flitted, floated, glided oh-so-gracefully as AK65 paraded me across the stage. Bidding commenced and before I really realized what was happening, it was down to Serious Boy and Triscuit. Increments of ten, then twenty and then fifty… and sold for $350 to Triscuit.
Triscuit who bought the cow when he could have the milk for free… who claims that it was a donation for a good cause when really we’ve had debates and arguments over the support of this cause over the other equally worthy causes in the world… who knew he was supposed to bid, but didn’t necessarily have to win… Triscuit.
The rest of the weekend was spent in relative relaxation – shopping at the St. Lawrence Market, staying up into the early hours of morning patching holes in the ice rink, cursing the kids, reading Playboy jokes to each other, and watching the coyotes run wild down the path.