Friday, September 28

day 11252: there is no parity in travelling

Can someone explain why it costs $590Cdn to fly from Toronto to Vancouver (during the first week of December), but it only costs $409Cdn to fly from Buffalo to Vancouver during the same time period?

TELL ME... inquiring minds want to know.

Thursday, September 27

day 11251: on craigslist furniture shopping

QWW: Oh. My. God. People are fcuking mental. Look at this shit!

Craigslist furniture shopping = hours of endless fun.

Wednesday, September 26

day 11250: never trust a guy named chad

Man... I gotta stop counting my puppies before my spayed dog gets laid.

Tuesday, September 18

day ?????: the best thing about vacation is that you don´t have to know what day it is...

cheap beers
lizano sauce

...are you jealous yet?

Friday, September 14

day 11238: shark bait! hoo! ha! ha!

Hi, you've reached Schmassion's voicemail. I'm either at the beach or trying out this whole surfing thing. If you're nosy and want to check out the camp's webcam, I be the one with the SHARKBAIT sign on her back...

Leave a message and I'll call you back.

Wednesday, September 12

day 11236: do you want a side of fries with that pity platter?

For the past few months, I’ve been going through some things. I found my world turned on its side; not knowing who to trust, not knowing who to believe in, and not having a lot of people to turn to.

Whether world imposed or self imposed, I was surrounded by a lot of negativity. I wasn’t being treated fairly, and in return there was no way in hell I was treating anyone fairly. I became easily irritated, withdrawn, jaded and embittered and started taking things and people for granted, just as I was being taken for granted. I hid away from the world and lost myself in “work” and in “running errands.”

Really I just wanted to be alone to sort things out and wanted no part of the world I believed had deceived me. I started doubting myself and became someone that I didn’t know and didn’t like.

But no more - enough is enough. I’ve spent enough time wallowing in the regret and insecurity of others and the world will not wait for me. I’ve fooled myself long enough and have to start living for me again. I’ve learned my lessons from my past and I’m ready to move on.

Once upon a time, I liked who I was. I had heart, strength and character. But most importantly, I had faith and trust in people.

I want ME back…only this time I’m going to have to do it a little smarter.

Monday, September 3

day 11227: i interrupt this program with a special message from your sponsors

Dear Interweb.

I thought you and me, we were friends. I thought I could be honest with you and tell you my deepest, darkest secrets. Obviously, I was wrong.

Perhaps one day I'll be honest with you again, but I think not, seeing as how I'm still experiencing the repercussions of the last time I was honest with you. So instead, back to your regular scheduled programming of "Schmassion Brand Self-Deprecating Humour".

Because if I can't laugh at myself, what else can I laugh at? Everything else has been taken away.

On the fence,