Thursday, February 26

Day 9946: Tennis slut

Tennis slut... you know who you are... I don't even have to name names. People already know. Yeah, you know I'm talking about you... you two-timing bum. You... you... you... you *sob* cheated on me... *wahhhhhhh*...

Ok, I'm not the world's best tennis player. I never claimed to be even a good tennis player, so I was pretty thrilled when ICBBQ asked me to be his regular tennis player. Maybe thrilled is a "minor" exaggeration... with "minor" being a "minor" sarcasm. But it was cool to be asked even though ever since he asked, we have yet to play as official "tennis partners." Let's ponder why - the first tennis game after he asked, I wasn't feeling well (a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do... and sometimes... tennis just ain't it). The second tennis game after he asked, he made arrangements to play with ANOTHER GIRL!!! I didn't even find out about the game until 2am the morning of. How rude!!!

Actually. It doesn't really bother me. I just like bugging him about it. In reality though, this whole tennis situation has made me think about something that Unsanitary Man said about trading up... just as ICBBQ is attempting to trade up for a "better" tennis partner, because he oh-so-badly wants to win. We were talking about relationships, and he was saying how people go from one relationship to another because they wanted to "trade up" for a better person. I disagreed with him, because I believe that people go from one relationship to another because they want a better fit. The person may not necessarily be a better person on a comparative scale, but may be a better person for me. It's not about whether the guy is better looking, or whether the guy makes more money and is generally better according to the survival of the fittest theory. It's more the compatability issue. Sure, perhaps unconciously women want to have the good provider, have the genetically superior children, but really, I think we just want someone that we can get along with. A friend to lean on, and friend to have in bed or out of bed, someone that needs us just as much as we need them. So, it's not really "trading up", it's more "trading in"...


Tuxedo Sam: In your valiant effort to usurp the reigning mixed doubles champions, you have managed to piss off two of your closest friends. I feel sorry for you, man.

ICBBQ: now you can see how much I hate you guys and how badly I want to beat you guys. I am willing to lose all my friends.

THAT'S IT ICBBQ!!!!!! Consider yourself challenged. I will cream you and beat you to a pulp the next time we play. If I can't beat you at the game, I will use my non-emotionally-attached-brand-spanking-new racquet to beat you over the head. BRING IT ON, DUDE! BRING IT ON!!!

Wednesday, February 25

Day 9945: 101 things you never thought you wanted to know...

1. My favourite pair of underwear is red. I wore them inside out last night ‘cuz I wasn’t paying attention… how sexy is that? …oops… ;oP
2. I have an emotional attachment to my 15 year old tennis racquet and refuse to play with the one I bought two years ago and only got strung this past summer
3. My favourite pair of socks is blue
4. I really do prefer skiing to snowboarding
5. I hate eating with mismatched chopsticks. Would rather not eat
6. I don’t know anything about politics and really could care less
7. I’m a news junkie, but only weird news and city news (but nothing political)
8. I read my horoscope everyday…but forget it right after I read it
9. My dog likes the song “Mommy’s Gonna Buy You a Mockingbird” and she doesn’t care if I make up the words
10. My uncle-or-something is the Governor of Washington state
11. The lyrics of all songs escape me. I just make them up as I sing along
12. My favourite flowers are pink roses, second favourite blue orchids…purple ones are cool too
13. My handwriting changes drastically depending on my mood
14. I’ve started writing at least 4 different books, none of which I’ve gone more than 10 pages into
15. Procrastination is a lifestyle
16. I pick up rocks from special places and keep them in my pocket until I lose them
17. I do like Country Music
18. I have no idea the difference between hiphop, techno, house and whatever is not country
19. First kiss on lips ever was by a partner in my firm… friendly, congratulations-for-not- sucking-at-golf kind of kiss… gross - that kiss doesn’t count…
20. First real kiss 2 months later…not by partner in my firm… not gross…
21. Have only kissed one guy. Have never kissed a girl – never wanted to, don’t think I’ll ever want to
22. I miss my sister. But I don’t have anything to say when I call her
23. I call my mom every day, but I don’t have anything to say when I call her
24. A few years ago I believed my destiny was in England. Kept getting the urge to fly over, never did – always regretted it
25. I would do anything for family, and almost anything for a friend, but depends on who and depends on what
26. I don’t really hate my job, I just bitch about it. I actually like it when it challenges me – too bad that doesn’t happen
27. I once worked as a bus counter and counted the number of people getting on and off the bus, got horribly carsick and never showed up for work again
28. Hate bell peppers – hate them, hate them, hate them
29. I’m a sucker for teeny-bopper movies and most children’s movies
30. Smoking is a filthy nasty disgusting habit. Have never smoked a cigarette.
31. I can draw almost anything so long as I’m copying it and not doing it from memory (or real life)
32. I’m too chicken to ride a motorcycle, but I want to be AM a biker chick
33. Only know one Prince song – Purple Rain - no real desire to know any more
34. Only know one George Michael song, but I forget the name of it
35. I agree with people who say that Asian women can’t drive – except for me
36. I go out of my way to make people happy – that said, I hate doing things for people because they tell me I have to do it. (See blog on responsibility)
37. Hate fake people
38. Bumped into Michael Burgess in my reception room last year – forgot who he was until three hours later – damn… I hate name dropping… who really cares if I don’t even care…
39. My dog’s leg reminds me of a chicken leg. Sometimes I want to bite it, but then she’ll bite back
40. Addicted to email
41. Addicted to blogging
42. Am completely terrified of computers if it’s not about emailing or surfing
43. Addicted to coffee – but only 2 cups per day max
44. I knit, but only when I want to make something for someone – I don’t wear what I knit. Except the scarf I knit for my sister… I’ve been wearing it…your fault baby for not bringing it to Texas with you
45. I can do the splits – both ways if I stretch first… am very, very, very flexible, but don’t understand why that turns guys on
46. I only like chocolate at certain times of the month
47. Basketball is not a sport – but neither is skiing or snowboarding unless you’re seriously training for something
48. Triscuits really are my favourite crackers – all jokes aside
49. My favourite Gatorade is blue, yellow is a really close second – I have a can of orange mix to give away if anyone wants it
50. I love watching hockey, but I have no clue who the players are
51. I like football – it’s like chess, but it moves a little faster
52. I have an insane fear of sharks, but I touched one when I was in Vegas and almost gave my sister a heart attack
53. I used to spend thousands of dollars on books a year. In the past year, I’m lucky if I’ve spent $300, and of that, the majority was for b-day presents
54. I feel myself getting stoopider by the day
55. I have no fingerprints on the tip of the middle finger on my left hand
56. I have three major scars – my shin, my head, and my shoulder – of which only the shoulder one is still visible
57. I once burned the inside of my wrist with a hot glue gun – people thought I had the bandages on because I tried to kill myself
58. Only bone I’ve broken was a toe on my 14th b-day. No x-rays. Knew it was broken cuz I could take it and turn it all the way around
59. I am a planner. I hate non-commitments. I hate when people bail
60. I hate when I don’t have any plans. Even down time has to be planned
61. That said, I really am trying to be spontaneous – I went to Ham on a whim, didn’t I?
62. I don’t deal well with change
63. I hate weddings
64. I really want to cut my hair, but I promised that I wouldn’t – but I went and cut it last night anyway…s’okay we had an arrangement
65. I once knew how to read Biblical Hebrew, but only if it was about Benjamin and sheep and cows
66. Can’t stand going to the dentist. Will dread it for the entire week before.
67. Have never been south of the equator, but have visited most of the continents above the equator
68. I can cook, and cook well, but I hate cooking for just myself so I don’t cook
69. I f.u.’d my wrist last night when I was climbing. BOO!!!
70. I’ve climbed a 5.10b, but was two moves off of finishing a 5.10c. That said, at the moment, I’ve regressed back to the 5.8’s, but clean climbs, though.
71. I have the bestestest sister in the world – she tried to draw me…aw shucks…
72. I’m only ticklish in some places
73. My car has a name … it’s JP
74. I want to get married one day, but only once
75. I’m not sure if I want children even though I know that I’d be a fantastic mom
76. My favourite breakfast after a night of drinking is scrambled eggs and sausage
77. I never know what I want at a bar – most of the time I get someone to order something for me
78. Recently, though, it’s been Amaretto Cokes cuz they taste like Cherry Cokes
79. I’ve only puked four times ‘cuz I was drunk – tax party, boat party, Binny’s b-day party, and Linda’s b-day bar thingy which turned into an I-hate-boys night
80. Chuck E. Cheese’s is my happy place
81. So are La Jolla, St. Malo, and this tiny little rock outcropping near the boat transfer station at the Severn River
82. I have peed in the woods, but have never pooped in the woods… I’ve also done something else in the woods, but let’s not talk about it
83. I’ve snowboarded/skied more this year than the past 5 years combined
84. I rock on skis. Try to keep up – I dare you. And no, I’m not just being cocky
85. Most people either love me or think I’m super bitch. I prefer if they love me, but sometimes bitchy gets things done
86. I was once a whale
87. My dad is my role model. He was virtually perfect
88. He died when I was 18. He dropped dead in front of me, and I have never forgiven myself for making him go to fencing class with me that night
89. Have since sworn, that I would never make anyone do anything that they didn’t want to do
90. My mom got remarried 6 years later. I hated her first “boyfriend” and would call during their dates. Not really on purpose, but I don’t regret doing it either
91. My left hip clicks when I walk.
92. I never planned to live past 45.
93. I think I’m going to die in a plane crash. But I’m not afraid of flying
94. I have an amazing sense of direction in any city except for Ottawa
95. I have great friends
96. I have the world’s best family, but only on my mother’s side
97. I can type almost as fast with one hand as I can with two hands… which is pretty darned fast… I max out at 116wpm though. You should see me with a calculator. I’ve wowed clients before
98. I cannot spell the word “weird”. Except this time for some reason. That’s wierd.
99. I call everyone Babe, Dude, Girlie-girl, or Chickie because I’m not good with names, and it’s better than calling someone by the wrong name. But if I ever call you a cutie or a sweetie, that means I mean it. Though I usually mean Babe too.
100. I am lost without my cell phone.
101. If you made it this far, you kick ass!!


Tuesday, February 24

Day 9944: Responsibility

I don't think I'd be patting myself on the back if I said that I was a nice person... or that I'm a pretty darned nice person. I will go out of my way to do things for people. Will go out of my way to make people around me happy. But I really don't like it when people try to take advantage of my "nice-ness" or when people try to order me to do something. Everyone has responsibilities. Everyone does things because they feel obliged to. But sometimes I just don't feel like it, and I don't want to. Not that I'm not nice - but I'd rather do something because I want to, rather than because I have to. But I would still do it anyway.

I visited my grandparents on my dad's side this weekend. In all fairness, I rarely see them and I should be seeing them a lot more than I actually do. Because they are blood, and because they are my responsibility. Though my grandmother does try and make the effort to keep in touch, it is difficult as she refuses to call my cell phone. Really, I don't have the same affinity with that side of the family as I do with my mother's side. Maybe because they consciously try to erase us from their memories and refuse to admit our existence unless they want something from us...hmmm... example... my cousin got married, we weren't invited to the wedding until less than a month before... my cousin had a baby... we weren't even told. There's only so much ignoring a girl can take before she, herself, decides that she no longer has a connection to that side of the family. Maybe somewhere deep, deep, deep down there is some emotional feelings, but it's too hidden to try to dig out and explore, and really, honestly, I'm not sure its anything more than a feeling of responsibility and maybe a little of sadness that my father's brothers are too self centered to take care of anyone besides themselves.

Had it been my maternal grandmother that made the request, I would not have been able to deny her. Face it, I went out with SUG for her. There's nothing that I wouldn't do for anyone on my mother's side. Nothing (except going out with SUG). But my grandmother (on my dad's side)... well... it was a lot easier to say "no", or to say "maybe". Perhaps it was the way she asked, or rather ordered. She basically came out and said, "You're old enough now, you can do things. I'm going to call you and get you to come over to help me..." Not too bad though... but what I heard was "You're at my beck and call, because your work is now really close to me, and it's your duty to do things for me." And because it felt like I was being ordered to do something, I resisted and told her that I would come over during lunch when I'm in the office, but I won't come after work. Truth be told, I don't want to spend my evenings at her apartment. I'd rather be in a position where I have limited time to spend there. I don't like the risk of having to see one of my uncles, and worse yet - what if there's a conspiracy to set me up with someone else... for shame.

At the end of the day, if she calls, I will go. But I won't want to, and I won't like it. I'll do it because I have to, because I feel obliged to, but I would rather go because I want to. Because I care to.

Monday, February 23

Day 9943: Toeing the line

I had myself a little adventure this weekend. The sky was blue, the sun was shining, the non-frozen birds were probably singing somewhere, and the world was just too happy feeling to be stuck inside catching up on work. And so I didn't. Instead, I ended up driving down to the Ham to hang out with Triscuit and friends (let's call them Web and Nan). Initial plan was to go skating at some pond with some name that reminds me of Battery Park. But Web and Nan who got there first said that the ice had melted and frozen over again, but was really way too rough to skate - major bummer as I was really looking forward to my powerskating lesson so that I could learn how to skate better. And soooo, I spent a really very sunny afternoon driving around Ham, following Triscuit's car as we drove from downtown to who-knows-where, and back to Hess St. while doing a little fly-by sight seeing. Ended up grabbing a drink, grabbing din-din, and then grabbing a movie... details not important, but really, it was a very merry evening.

So, onto the topic for today - toeing the line. Not quite sure if toeing the line is the right subject heading, but somehow "please-stop-making-out-in-front-of-me-cuz-i'm-a-prude-and-i-feel-really-kinda-weirded-out-right-now" doesn't feel like an appropriate title either. But, I think I made my point. Really, I'm exaggerating. Web and Nan were only a tad demonstrative. And yup, Ms. Prude here, wasn't comfortable watching it, tried to keep my distance and yeah, averted my eyes a couple of times. Ummm... public displays of affection... during dinner... icky.... It's one thing to sit close to each other, and... ahem...maybe keep a hand on his/her leg or hold hands or something, but kissing because she has to leave to go potty, and playing with his hair constantly, that's a little much...for me. Dunno how Triscuit feels...maybe he's used to it. Afterall, Web's his friend. But... I admit it... I am a prude... and ok for the record, maybe I was a little itty bitty teensy weensy envious. Just a little. Dunno why.

But fact remains. Good friends, good food, and good conversation should be adequate dinner entertainment. Visual entertainment, unless it's live music or something, I can honestly do without.

On another note - if you're looking for a fun movie, go see 50 First Dates... really quite funny (except the sharks) and a decent ending. Not predictable, not really.

Oh, and I really must go grocery shopping. Having a turkey wrap for lunch today - quite delicious, really - whole wheat wrap, turkey, carrot shavings, cucumbers, mustard (no mayo), tomatoe, lettuce and black olives... yummm

Friday, February 20

Day 9940: Speed is your friend

You can learn a lot about life from snowboarding. I am not obsessed. Really.

Yesterday, I watched Lenny take his first run ever down the half-pipe. I was in awe that he was almost making it to the lip on every single pass. Sure, he's been boarding for awhile, and he's pretty comfortable in the park, but on a relative scale of things he was rocking it. He had his share of little spills, caught edges and butt slides, but every time, he picked himself up, dusted himself off and ended the run with an awesome 180 jump off the lip. Amazing. There are some of us who have been in the pipe dozens of times who can't nearly get as high on the wall as he did... and you know why - well... quite simply because we didn't want it bad enough.

I've learned some things over the past few years that I didn't know in school. Stuff I probably should have realized and come to terms with earlier, but for one reason or the other, I never got around to it. Maybe I'm a late bloomer (in more ways than one...), but hey, at least I finally got the message... before it hit me upside the head.

I realized that everything in life is about confidence, aggressiveness and the lack of fear. And that if you want something badly enough, you will do whatever it takes to get it. Take snowboarding. Lenny is confident, attacks the hill aggressively and shows no fear - even though earlier in the evening, he took a wipe in the park and landed hard on a rail and was in some serious pain. But it didn't stop him. Barely even slowed him down - no fear. But school, work and life - I didn't want to pass the UFE the first two times. Couldn't even care less. It was just a thing I had to do before I moved on to the supposed next step of my life (which has yet to begin, btw). Third time around, I wanted it. I wanted it bad enough that I could taste it, so badly that I could just picture myself passing and being over-the-moon-and-around-the-corner with happiness. And so I got it. The first year I tried to drop the weight, I didn't want it badly enough - couldn't do it. But the second time around, I wanted it more than anything else I had wanted before. And so I did it.

It's all about knowing what you want, wanting it badly enough, and then taking the steps to get it. Approach with confidence, aggressiveness and show no fear... it'll happen..., if only I knew what I wanted... :oP

Thursday, February 19

Day 9939: That thing you do...

You know that one thing that pisses me off. Well, you did it. And I'm pissed. Royally, royally pissed. I'm trying to be nice about it. I'm trying to be a good friend. But you pissed me off, and you're going to have to un-piss me. No ifs, ands or buts. I am majorly pissed, and I can't get over it. Maybe by tonight, I'll be over it. Maybe not. Maybe by tomorrow, I'll be over it. Maybe not. Maybe when HELL FREEZES OVER I'll be over it. Then again, maybe not.

Yes, I know there is probably a good reason why. But I don't care. If you don't want to tell me and you don't want to talk about it there's nothing I can do about it except to get pissed off.


:( :( :((((((((((((((((((

...and while I'm in my venting stage... how come no one uses that little comment thingy??? I know you're out there... I can see you.... someone... anyone? *sniff* I feel so all alone... :( ~"no body knows..."

Wednesday, February 18

Day 9938: The little itty bitty things

It's funny how we can obsess over the tiniest, seemingly insignificant details in our lives. Things that really shouldn't make much of a difference in the big scheme of things, and that we should be capable of carrying on with or without it, but it does make a difference. It really, really does. Take stubble. Not beard stubble, but leg stubble.

Leg stubble to me is one of the ultimate grossest things. I've been known to shave daily during the summer in order to avoid the ickily prickily of leg stubble. Don't know why since it doesn't really make a difference - you can't really see it, and gosh-darned it... who's going to feel it, but I obsess over it until it's gone.

The other day, as I was driving down from the boonies of Bolton to go to the climbing gym, I reached down to scratch my leg. No big deal, right... until I felt my leg and remembered that in my morning rush, I had forgotten to shave my legs. HUGE PROBLEM. CANNOT go climbing with unshaven legs. That would be wrong on soooo many levels. Can't climb, can't climb... what to do???? Ahhhhh!!!!

In desperation, THE CALL was made... to LZ...heroine of the unshaven masses:

Me: (in desperate panic voice) When are you going home?
LZ: Dunno. Have some things I need to finish up.
Me: I neeeed your help. I'm going climbing and I haven't shaved my legs...I NEED TO SHAVE... When can you get home? Do you have an extra razor?
LZ: Call Donna. She'll help you.
Me: (whisper) I can't... this is sooo embarrassing. When can you get home?
LZ: Dunno. Have to finish up some stuff. If pick me up and give me a ride, I can probably leave soon.
Me:... I'm on my way. *click*

5 minutes later...
Me: Um. Where's your office? I forgot where you work.
LZ: hee hee... I forgot. I drove today. Meet you at my place in 15.

Needless to say, the day ended well, all legs were shaved, thanks to LZ, the heroine of the unshaven masses... THANKS BABE!!!!

I'm outta here! :) ... gotta pluck my eyebrows.

Friday, February 13

Day 9933: Over the moon and around the corner

I think purple orchids are my new favourite flowers. I'm schmiley today. Can't help wearing a silly funny grin. People must be wondering why I'm smiling to myself. Let them wonder.


Thursday, February 12

Day 9932: I Choo-Choo-Choo-Choose You!!

I would be remiss if I didn't blog about V-day. Afterall, EVERYONE has blogged about V-day... haven't they? Not that it matters or anything - I like to go at my own pace. If I want to sing Christmas carols in July, I have every right to do so... especially, if I'm singing White Christmas.

V-days in past years have been blah. Grade school was great - loads of cute little corny red and white paper Valentines, spicy cinnamon hearts, trinkets we gave our parents made with felt and white glue that we thought we oh-so-beautiful, cheap chocolate...the list continues. But the coolness of V-day stopped being so cool after grade 6, when all of a sudden, you realized that wait-a-second, the "will you be mine" cards that were supposed to come from guys just didn't come, and well, let's not linger on that thought any longer. High school wasn't much better... university wasn't much better than high school... and yeah, let's just say that the only flowers I've ever received for V-day was from my step-dad last year. What a cutie.

So eventually V-day became just another day. One that my brain analytically attacked and criticized as being a Hallmark holiday - a capitalist commercialization and distortion of human desire and emotion that reprogrammed our brains to believe that we needed to "celebrate" that special someone only on that one day a year... and not every day of the year. It was no wonder that the malls are filled with candies, flowers, chocolates and pink and white cards when people believe that they need to buy their way in. But now, I don't think it's true. Not completely at least. Sure the commercialization of the day is still wrong, but I think people need it. People are running around so much these days, that they take their loved ones for granted don't stop to think and appreciate them for what they are. People need V-day to remind them that love IS what makes the world go 'round. It is the basis for everything that we hold near and dear to our hearts.

This V-day feels different from the others. A little more special. More mellow and more relaxed because there just isn't that feeling of damn-I-need-to-go-find-a-boy. I'm happy, I love my friends, I love my family...I've got everything I need. :)

Karen, Wai-sum, Wai-e, Bo, Binny, Chi, Benifer, Ashish, Rosie, Mini, Linda, Greggie-poo, Triscuit... will y'alls be my Valentines? Love ya lots!

Wednesday, February 11

If I ask really nicely and say pretty please with a cherry on top, will someone run me over with my car so that I might die and be reincarnated as a slug???

Day 9931: Spoil me rotten

I think, if I could have anything right now, that would be for someone to spoil me. Spoil me rotten. Just for the day. Someone to make me little peanut butter and cheeze whiz crackers or little triangle peanute butter and jelly sandwiches without the icky crust, make me hot chocolate and read me comic books in bed. Just like when we were kids and we felt bummed out. Our moms would make us hot chocolate with those fake little crunchy marshmallows and bring us tray loads of goodies... and a new comic book or a new toy just because we were that cute and cuddly.

But really, I have no idea what I'm talking about, only that it seems so nice and idealistic when I read about it or when I see it on tv... you see, I don't think I've ever been spoiled - not like that. Sure, I've had my share of popcorn balls and funky strawberry milk and horlicks. But I want more... just for a day...

I want to be a princess. I want my every whim catered to...without me even knowing that it was exactly what I wanted. A long massage that leaves my toes tingling, a hot bubble bath drawn just for me, soft music playing in the background, someone to pick me up when the water gets cold, wrap a big warm towel around me and carry me back to bed where there will be more comic books, finger sandwiches, more hot chocolate and maybe a hot toddy or two, to share of course. Oh... and an ice-cream sundae after my long, long afternoon nap... Because I'm just that cute and cuddly.

Tuesday, February 10

Day 9930: Illogical arguments

Conclusion: there is no pleasing the parental units.

Every parent wants what is best for their child. Agreed. Every parent knows what's best for their child. Disagree. In many ways, yes, parents do give a wider perspective, a broader outlook, and years of experience to what they think is best for their child. On the other hand, occassionally their beliefs are blatantly one-sided and narrow minded and refuse to consider that there might be an alternative view point to the issue. It is times like these that one must realize that parents don't know everything, and it's better not to listen to them.

I grew up in a sheltered environment. A very loving one, a very priviledged one, but still very, very sheltered. We were not encouraged to have our own points of view. We were not encouraged to debate and formulate our own opinions on things. It was more of a you're-doing-this-because-we-said-so kind of upbringing. Not unlike many of the parent-child relationships of yore. No waves were made. No one pushed the envelope. Not really. There was no major rebelling or anything. Just existence. We were dummies that follow along because life's mapped out for them to the tiniest degree. And to some sense, we're still dummies. I'm still a dummy.

We go with the flow. We still don't make waves. We'd rather live "secret" lives and not share certain aspects of our lives with our parents because we don't want the hassle of the parent-child lecture - the nagging, the sense that we're disappointing the people that we respect the most and actually think very highly of. Regardless of how the relationship evolves and changes they will always be the parents, and as a child, we will always be searching for their approval. My mom and I became friends a few years back. It was not uncommon for me to take my problems to her and through some discussion, come to a conclusion that I was comfortable with. But recently, it changed. Since the sista departed for the Texan south, it's once again reverted back to the old parent-child relationship, where she feels that as a parent, I must automatically do whatever she wants me to do. She still thinks of me as her baby. She feels that she still needs to control every aspect of my life and has ordered me, in not so many words, to see her once a week. A point that I sorely disagree upon. I call her every day. I don't need to see her every day. I don't need to hear how she disapproves with my lifestyle...everyday.

I've come to realize though, that the "logical" arguments that they make are not very logical at all. A few minor examples...

Toot-toot: don't get a dog because then you'll stay home all the time to keep the dog company. And now that I actually have a life and go out more (instead of studying all the time, and watching television)... don't go out so much - stay home and keep the dog company.

Exercising: go out and exercise so that you can lose weight. And now that I'm climbing twice a week, playing hockey on occasion and snowboarding every week... stop going out to exercise so much... it's not good for you.

Meeting guys: go out and meet more guys... and now that I have a life... stop going out so to the gym so much...there's no guys there... and what... guys are supposed to magically appear before me as I sit at home and watch television and keep the dog company???

Parents don't make sense. It's time to stop listening to them and living my own life. I'm a big girl... I can take care of myself. I'm a smart cookie no matter who calls me an airhead.

Monday, February 9

Day 9929: Pushing the envelope... (I never really understood where this came from)

People aren't always what they appear to be. My Po-po (grandmother) called me this morning because she wanted to chat. Alarm bells instantly went off the moment she asked if I was in my office alone, and if it was a GOOD time to talk. Uh-oh... it's never a good time to talk about THAT.

Same old conversation about how she worries about all the grandkids because a large group of us are approaching the big 3- 0 and no one seems to be in a steady relationship. At least not one that she knows about. Of course, I neither confirm nor deny, answering all questions with the standard I-think-they're-just-friends and the we're-just-friends bit. Somehow, she has it in her mind, that if she sees us with a particular person of the opposite sex, we're automatically going out. (watch out Tuxedo Sam... she'll have you hooked up with the entire family soon. 'Specially cuz she's seen you at least three times...) :)

Eventually the conversation kind of went a little off topic. First she started talking about finding a nice Chinese boy and taking him home and cooking something for him as if the path to true love really was through the stomach, to which I replied, "Po-po, I don't want to scare him to death...he's going to think I'm trying to kill him." Then, she digressed and started saying that it didn't matter whether or not he was Chinese, and that all she really wants is for all her grandchildren to be happily accompanied by someone who truly cares for them and will take care of them when they're sick etc. Great-grandchildren don't even matter, she said. Wow.

I would never have believed that my grandmother was so progressive and so accepting. I did not expect her to share the same thoughts as most people in our generation. Granted, it is a "hypothetical" situation. But given that the parental units are not entirely for it (i.e. if it's someone else's kid, it's perfectly fine, but not-for-my-kid kind of thing), it makes you wonder if they believe what they believe because they think that is what the older generations want. And if they know that the grandparents are okay with it, will they become more accepting of it, and stop worrying about what other people think. Maybe it's time for someone to push the envelope and actually see what happens... any volunteers? I would if I could, but I can't so I won't. Damn, I can be a little shit-disturber sometimes.

Scary part of today's conversation:

Po-po: Have you lost weight yet?
Me: No. It's about the same.
Po-po: Well hurry up, I want to find someone else to set you up with.
Me: Ummm... no ... it's not necessary.
Po-po: It is necessary. Everyone these days meet through "introductions..."
Me: Ummm... No REALLY... it's NOT necessary...
Po-po: Really. It IS necessary. You're not getting any younger you know...

PS... CONGRATS Tuxedo Sam on your first 5.10... all you gotta do now is come to the gym regularly... wish I was there to see it! :oP

PSS... BO!!!! If you're down in Middle Earth and you're reading this... We miss you!!!! :o)

Friday, February 6

Day 9926: *click*... *click*... I wish I was in Jay Peak???

How does that song go... All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go... but I have nowhere to go. Triscuit and Betty-G are in Vermont today - boarding obviously. Oh, how I wish that I could be there. The fresh powder, the minus 40 temperatures, the freezing cold wind in your face... oh, joy. How I wish I could drop things at a moment's notice and just go.

It's like that kid from Belleville who won the $20 Million Super 7 last month. His plan was to follow the snow. That's a great plan. One that I could adapt to quite easily. Quite.

Tonight's Super 7 jackpot is $37.5 Million - don't forget to buy. I'd be very upset if I found out that you didn't! But, that's ok, since I plan on winning it - just have to remember to buy my ticket on my way home. So, in the spirit of daydreaming, here's today's list on J's plans on how to spend the lottery winnings that she hasn't won yet...

1. $2-3 Million to my charity of choice - either that or set up a foundation that will donate all yearly earnings to charity so that I might be called a philanthropist instead of the lucky bum who got rich by winning the lottery. Oh, and so I might be able to get a nice hefty tax deduction on tax geek accountant... hey - why give the government any more money than they deserve.

2. $8 Million to my cousins - $1 Million to each of the 8 kids (ON MY MOM'S SIDE ONLY...hate my dad's side) so that they'll be able to follow their dreams without having to worry about money. Won't make them rich for the rest of their lives, but hopefully, they'll be able to parlay the cash into something that will make them quite comfortable... imagine... $1 Million at a measely 3% interest per year is still $30K at 50% effective interest rates, that's still an additional disposable income of $15K per year... that's a lot of lift tix, my friend.

3. $5 Million to the sista - for dealing with all my crap through the years, so she can satisfy her travel bug whenever she gets the urge to move, and so she can follow her dreams without having to worry about anything... ever... and she'll know that regardless of how she spends her $5 Mill, there's more where it came from, and she doesn't ever have to do anything she doesn't like again... dumb Texas... :o)

4. $10 Million to the parental units - for dealing with all my crap through the years. For dealing with all my crap for the years to come... and so they can go from one cruise to the next, because everything is "sooo beautiful" :o) And, should they so choose to fund my step-brother's restaurant, great!

5. $2.5 Million to the friends - be it cars or ski trips or whatever, I'm happy to spread the wealth... plus, they'll get full benefits of (see below) ...

6. $11 Million for me - I'm not greedy... I just want to be happy. Shrewd investment opportunities like buying real-estate in Whistler/Blackcomb, or Colorado somewhere... another in Banff... another in Switzerland... all with open door policy for my nearest and dearest... Like the kid said - I'm going to follow the snow. Oh, and maybe I'd like a Cheesecake Factory franchise. :o)

Of course... all above figures depend on the actual payout of the lottery, and if they present-value the payouts, how much I'd actually receive, since obviously, it's psychologically, and financially better to have the money now, instead of getting annual payments of X. Time value of money and all that crap. Damn... sometimes I hate being an accountant.

Oh... and if I actually win, I might seriously have to rethink all of the above... it's easy to spend money you don't have... :)

Thursday, February 5

Day 9925: ...where's the beef?

Today is general pissed-offedness peeves in random order...

1. Dumbass truckers - didja ever think that it might be a little easier, not to mention a little safer, if you don't try to force your way across 3 lanes of rush hour traffic just because you missed the on-ramp 'cuz you're not familiar with the area. Thereby causing mass confusion and some hysteria among some less-than-confident/competent drivers who swerve into someone else's lane and try to play bumper cars. Same goes for the freaking idiot I once saw who swerved from the left turn lane to the center lane to the right lane and then proceeded to make a left turn on a FUCKING RED LIGHT!!!! Asshole!!! If you're not a cop, or an EMS, etc. and your sirens ain't going...stop before you kill someone. Darwinian you deserves to die an early death.

2. Ice - sure we live in the frigid Canadian south, but we have to deal with the ice and snow just like anyone else... so, instead of listening to the rest of the country laughing at what wimps we Torontonians are and sitting in your little plow-truck nodding in agreement, maybe someone should do their job and salt the walkways and the parking's hard enough walking in with 2 briefcases and a freaking laptop - try it in heely boots and a freaking suit. If I fall and I hurt myself, I'M GOING TO SUE!!!!! Ps... after a night of freezing rain, it usually takes them until the morning of the day after to even lay down a little salt - and even that is if a teaspoon of salt on a 50' sidewalk will make any difference whatsoever.

3. Starbucks/Second cup - I am weak. I have an addiction to Caramel Macchiatos and Caramel Corretos... I admit it. I'm not ashamed of it. But why, oh why are you all so freaking hard to get to... tucked away in a mall somewhere or have virtually no parking. I'm a traffic battling commuter. I can't ditch my car just for the sake of the blessed caffeine hit. GET A DRIVE THRU!!! (and while you're at it... change your pricing strategy... lower your prices and you'll sell more volume and make more profit... your coffees are prohibitively expensive for those who need the "extra" caffeine to start the day...damn it, I might have to switch to Timmy's soon...)

4. Yo! You in the elevator - are y'all so pressed for time, that if someone is merely three steps behind you, you can't hold the freaking elevator? That's just rude. It's going to take 3 seconds for someone to cross the lobby. 3 seconds is not going to kill you, but waiting 5 minutes for another elevator might just kill someone else... actually since we're on the topic of courtesy, have you noticed that people are a lot less courteous these days. As if taking the one or two seconds out of their oh-so-busy lives to smile and say "Have a nice day..." is going to turn their eyeballs inside out and make their skin turn green. Come on, people! What goes around comes around. Just because you are having a bad day does not make it okay to take it out on someone else. The guy in front of you in the teller line wasn't the one that made you late in the first place. If you had the foresight to leave the house two minutes earlier, you wouldn't be rolling your eyes and muttering cuss words under your breathe just because the person in the line in front of you has more than one transaction - if you're in that much of a rush... stop going during peak times.

5. Lift tix - just because I'm a "couple" of years passed the adolescent cut-off point, does it mean you can charge me almost double for a freaking lift ticket. Whoever said that skiing/snowboarding is a sport for rich people was right - resort operators get rich off of idiots like me who get addicted to surfing the snow. Just because I'm older doesn't necessarily mean that I have more disposable income on hand... I'm not supported by darling-daddy or mommy-dearest. I have to pay for my own tix. It takes A LOT LESS energy to get ME to the top of the hill as it does that 230 lb 15 year old standing in front of me in the lift line... and if I fall, I CAN get up, and not cause a backlog because the guy has to stop the lift and roll me to the side of the freaking hill. I may look a little rolly polly in all my gear... but I swear it's the Ass-Pad!!! (and the knee-pads... and the triple clothing layer... and the wristguards... and the helmet... and the extra fleece...) ... and the same goes for plane tickets, train tickets, bus tickets etc. etc...

6 and 7. Sex - it's everywhere. On television, in magazines, on the Internet... crazy! Everywhere I turn, someone is talking about sex. Ummmm... it's on my mind enough already - do I need to be thinking about it ALL the time? Give me a break! Isn't sex a private thing between 2 people? What's with the voyeurism of today's society... which links to my next peeve...

Reality television - Watching the women's team on The Apprentice blatantly using their sex appeal to win is disgusting. I'm as much of a "the end justifies the means" type of girl as the next... but that's just wrong. It's unfair and unethical...and just plain degrading even to see people stoop that low for the sake of winning on a reality television show. The women aren't winning because of their solid, proven business acumen... they're winning because they're using their sexuality to take advantage of attention starved men. Come on, ladies - show the world that women are better than men because of our brains, and not because of our boobs. American Idol... it's not funny to watch people's hopes and dreams crushed by razor-mouthed Simon. True, anyone trying out after the first season probably deserves the cutting remarks since they know what they're getting into, but some of them actually believe they have talent... and their family loves them enough not to crush them emotionally but telling them the truth. And... we can't miss Survivor - all-stars... who cares... more naked Richard... the thing as been done to death... I think I'm going to sell my television. Wait a second. I don't watch television... I just hear about all this from the people at work. Maybe I'll just go postal and shoot them with supersoakers everytime they bring up reality tv...

Wednesday, February 4

Day 9924: Me and my big mouth

My big mouth gets me into a lot of trouble sometimes. Mostly because I have problems keeping secrets. Not so much other people's secrets, but my own secrets. Things that people probably should not know about me, only because then the ensuing trouble is just not worth it. (i.e. refer back to blog on my conscience...)

Last night, in a conversation with Unsanitary Man, I let something slip that I shouldn't have. And he started to play the role of my conscience... let's just end that on a we'll-never-agree-on-it note. Though I know he means well, and I know that all my consciences mean well, I don't feel that I have to defend my actions to anyone. So long as I'm okay with what I'm doing, and I fully understand the repercussions, it shouldn't matter. I'm a big girl. I can handle myself.

But what they say does matter. Even if I don't want it to. It still causes me to pause and reflect and to see if they're right. And in very many ways, they are. I can argue and defend as much as I want, but at the end of the day, they still see things from an unbiased perspective. I hate it when people make me think.

I'm happy. I may be deluding myself, but I'm happy. For the moment at least.

Tuesday, February 3

Day 9923: Self love...

"It's a good thing" ~ Martha Stewart

The key to success is self love. Take a look around. All successful people are filled with supreme self-confidence and maybe some even have little superiority complexes. Why? Because, obviously, they love themselves. Or at least they like themselves enough to believe in themselves. You won't see a successful person with self-doubt.

Sure, there are the little things that successful people worry about. After all, life isn't hunky dory for everyone. Just because you are supremely confident in one area of your life does not mean that all aspects of your life is peachy. No one can be that lucky... or that have THAT much self love.

Ok, so maybe the first step to accomplishing anything in life is to begin by liking yourself... we'll work on the love later. To start by having the confidence to say, "Hey, I AM sexy... you can't touch this..." or "Damn it, I AM smart (AND I look good)... I deserve a promotion." But of course, in all things, it only works if it's true. No used in deluding yourself. Have to actually BE the sexy girl or BE the smartie-pants. You can have all the confidence in the world, but that won't get you anywhere unless you can actually back it up. Conundrum? Damned if you do... damned if you don't kind of thing? I have to be sexy (replace with smart, if so desired) in order to believe that I am sexy/smart. I have to believe that I am sexy/smart in order to appear sexy/smart. Total utter craziness. Will the world never cease to confuse me.

aside: I don't understand the big deal surrounding Martha Stewart. So what if she was caught trading on insider information. A lot of people do. They just don't get caught. I hate it when people make a bigger stink out of something just to make an example out of it. Why should one person bear the grunt of a million people's actions. I actually like her stuff...I miss her shows. They used to put me to sleep... ok... enough with the ranting... for another view on self love... read this blog (not mine... just one that I follow 'cuz it's soooo damned interesting to read about other people's lives...)

I'm a-craving the curry crab today. Wanted it for breakkie... unfortunately, Indochine wouldn't open that early just to appease my whims... WHY GOD... WHY???? Doesn't the world revolve around me???

Monday, February 2

Day 9922: The decline of human civilization... otherwise known as Adult Disneyland...

I spent the weekend in Vegas. Yes, I, too, am surprised that I would travel so long for such as short holiday. Though, truth be told, total travel time must be only slightly more than the drive to Vermont or Tremblant which I found much more satisfying. To quote the Sista... It was a good time, but it just wasn't FUN.

It never ceases to astound me the sheer scale and size of the Vegas casinos. If you've never seen them in person, believe me, they are HUGE. There's a new one being built by Steve Wynn (former owner of the Bellagio and Mirage) that will either accomodate 10,000 people or have 10,000 rooms. I forget which, but does it really matter? The fact that the Venetian canals complete with gondolas can be replicated and scale models of the Eiffel tower and the Pyramid can be build is awe inspiring...

And then you remember that all this man-made wonder is based on one of the seven deadly sins... Greed. It is greed that drives the gambling, that drives people's desire to cater to gambling and the motivates them to build those monstrous complexes. Rumour has it (and this can be totally unfounded) that Caesar's Palace is building a Colliseum replica so that it can house Gladiator games. Ick... human sport, no matter how rehearsed... Has civilization done a 360 and reverted back to the spectator bloodlust of yore?

Don't get me wrong. I actually love Vegas. I love the Strip and think that it's one of the coolest things I've ever seen - the lights, the noise, the much ado about...well... nothing. But it's Vegas, and how could you not love it. Rich people rubbing shoulders with people who really shouldn't be there. Young people, old people... it doesn't matter so long as you have enough green to last you a little while. Penny slots, five dollar slots... one hundred dollar slots... it matters not so long as you hear the ding-ding-ding as your cash-out coins drop into the little metal tray.

Yup... it's cool to visit Sin City... just wouldn't want to live there... :oP