Tuesday, December 16

day 11700: toe-may-toe... toe-mah-toe... poe-tay-toe... poe-tah-toe

Last night I dreamt that I was exiled to space as part of a corrupt government scam. Rose Petal calls me a freak. I prefer to say that I have an overactive dream imagination.

Now if only I could harness my powers for good instead of evil...

Thursday, December 4

day 11688: dogspeak

arrrr arrr wror rowr rowr arrrr arf rowr woof!

Translation:
Hi Mommy! Happy Birthday, I made you a present for your birthday! It's a giant stinky turd. Woof!

Wednesday, December 3

day 11687: happy birthday to me...

Almost halfway to retirement! YEEHAW!

Monday, December 1

day 11685: reach out and touch yourself

In an effort to "find" myself and "refocus" my thoughts, my therapist suggested that I write down all my dreams.

If my dreams are to be believed, I'm supposed to be angrily married to Asshat and pregnant with a lot of other people's babies. Oh man... the horror... no more midnight snacking before bed!