Wednesday, December 22

day 10247: words

"Do you ever miss me?" We sit in the hallway, leaning against each other, breathless and a little giddy from running down the hall. The sound of someone snoring seeps through the door. We giggle like kids with a secret, whispering to each other. It's very late. Both of us should be in bed; he in his room, I in mine.

"All the time. I miss hanging out with you. I miss being close to you. I miss curling up with you, and waking up with my arm all tingly because you slept on it all night."

"No, really?" He brushes my hair away from my face and nods.

"Really. I miss that all the time." He leans in a little closer and puts his head on my shoulder. Somehow I end up playing with his hair.

We talk like we've never talked before. No secrets, all honesty.

He tells me how he refuses to admit that he's in love. I tell him that all I really want is someone to go home to every night and share my day with. He tells me how he wants the same. We talk about how both of us are terrified to have children and how warped his kids will grow up to be, how I know him better than he knows himself and how I'm the nicest person he's ever going to know.

He agrees and looks sad for a moment and then he tells me how every time he thinks about a wife or the mother of his children, he thinks about me. I don't know what to say. The moment passes.

I tell him that I'll never stop caring about him, how it almost killed me when we stopped being friends, but how well I'm doing now without him. We talk about how much I've changed, how different I am from the girl I was just six short months ago and how I've finally realized that I am strong enough to deal with anything that life throws down before me.

We sit in the hallway and talk until the wee hours of the morning. Comfortably being together again, closer then we have been for months. We move into the room to the couch where it's warmer and fall asleep in each other's arms... talking.

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