Friday, February 4

day 10291: snippets

…on discussion of good v-day restaurants…

Bossman: Moral of the story is… if you’re ever having an affair, you should go to that restaurant.
J: Thanks, but I’m not into that kind of thing.
B: You never know.

… IdiotChick on the climb next to me while I try to lead a 5.10b (35’ off the ground)…

IC: Looks hard.
IC: And I’m stupid (tries to show me her long, perfectly manicured fingers)
J: Yup, you are…

…maternal one trying to schedule last minute “family” activities…

M: You can’t do it on Wednesday. It’s New Years…
J: But I scheduled it in for Wednesday. You can’t just spring something on me last minute… I’m fully booked.
M: So how long in advance do I have to give you notice?
J: (looking at calendar) Three weeks.

…in the locker room at the gym …

J: (pinching newly-noticed stomach jello-roll)Do you think I look any chubbier?
T: Is that an “Am I fat question?” How can you possibly expect me to answer that?
J: Honestly.
T: Yeah right. I’m damned if I do, and damned if I don’t.
J: No really… I promise I won’t hit you.
T: Then no. Not that I’ve noticed.
J: Good, cuz I’ve been constantly hungry for the past couple of weeks and I’ve been stuffing my face.
T: ARE YOU PREGNANT? Have you noticed any other changes in your body?
J: (SLAP) NO! But I think my boobs are getting smaller.
T: Yeah, I’ve noticed that too.

…to a co-worker…

J: Sooo hungry all the time. Been constantly hungry for the past couple of weeks.
J: Hell no! Why does everyone keep saying that?
S: Just to bug you.

…in the locker room at the gym, part II…

J: Why are you looking at me that way?
T: No reason… (starts laughing)
T: (snicker) Because it kills you not knowing.

…KC calling from San Fran…

J: I was going to call you Sunday to say Happy Birthday.
KC: It’s not my birthday.
J: Damn, I already messed up on Paul’s B-day this week. Not another one.
KC: Haha… you’re losing it.
J: Yeah, I’m forgetting things… must be age. So when is your birthday?
KC: Sunday.

1 comment:

teahouse said...

Heh heh heh.

The right answer to "Does this make me look fat?" is always NO!