passion...schmassion

day 10301: there were no black olives on the pizza…

It’s V-Day…

I suppose that as a member of the fairer sex, it is my duty to sigh, bat my eyelashes and expect an armful of red roses to be delivered to my door by a knight in shining armour. Gifts of chocolate, lingerie, expensive day trips to the spa, a romantic candlelight dinner in a five star restaurant overlooking the water… *sigh*…

Alas, it’s not to be. Not for me. Not this year.

We are spending V-day apart. Just like last year.

The boy is wallowing in the quagmire of solitude (a.k.a. he’s self-exiled to the 6’x4’x5’ hole under his kitchen floor, running miles of electrical wire and attempting to home-repair his hot water heater), while I am making the drive ALL THE WAY OUT TO SUBURBIA to drop off darling-princess-poop-a-lot at my mother’s house because I’m flying out early tomorrow morning.

There are no flowers, no candies, and no undying vows of love and admiration BECAUSE I PROCRASTINATED TOO LONG and couldn’t decide what to get him. I still can’t decide. I STILL HAVEN’T BOUGHT ANYTHING!!! (I NEED IDEAS!!!)

(I’m still expecting flowers, btw… from last week’s not-so-subtle questions about my favourite flowers…)

Uh-oh spaghetti-o… Yikes…

I tried to make amends. I ordered him a pizza for lunch so he wouldn’t have to dodge the HOLE between exclamations of “Fcuk!” and “Terry… can you turn the water OFF!” It being V-Day and all, I thought I’d get some laughs by having them arrange the toppings in the shape of a heart.

But Bitter-Customer-Service-Chick cut me down for being corny. And when I called back to try to get the number for the individual store, I was told that my pizza was already in the oven.

“Do it with black olives, then.”

“I’ll call the store and see if they will.” I crossed my fingers and hoped. She sounded a lot friendlier than Bitter-Customer-Service-Chick #1.

Yeah right.

She put me on hold and then hung up on me instead.

End of story… there was no black olives on the pizza.

But he still thinks I’m “wonderful.”

Happy-hallmark-holiday-Valentine’s-Day. Hope you have a good one. Even if you’re going to be like me – sitting in front of the tv.