... the sun'll come out tomorrow...  

day 10497: keeping my head up...

So I’m officially a biker chick. I rode a motorcycle for the first time in my life Saturday morning, and now, I have my license… or most of it. Technically, I’m still in license limbo. I passed the riding test and qualified for my M2, but because I had a little bit of a timing issue with my written test, I still have to wait another 53 days until I can ride at night and on the highways. No big deal… not sure I really want to anyway.

It was intimidating, but not nearly as nerve racking as I had initially anticipated. The instructors were good (mostly) and patient (mostly) and took a good amount of time explaining MOST of the essentials we needed to know in order to ride a bike. I say “most” because I’m not the most mechanically inclined person in the world. I barely know how to drive standard on a car, talk about relating that knowledge to a motorcycle. Clutch, shift, throttle, friction point… what the heck? It took a bit to absorb everything, but towards the end of day one, I was slaloming with the best of them.

Day two, though, was a completely different story. Everything I learned the day before was forgotten. First thing I did was jump the clutch and skid off into “on-coming traffic”. Confidence shaken, I managed to regain control of my bike and ride through the rest of the morning relatively unscathed. By lunchtime, I had gotten the hang of it (mostly) and by mid-afternoon, passed the test with nearly flying colours.

I’m told that I’m a good rider, especially for someone who’s never been on a bike before… not even as a passenger. I found out afterwards that the 20 year old biker gang wannabes were talking about me, and how they all thought that I’d been riding for a while and if a chick could do it, then gosh-darn-golly they had to do it as well. Backwards compliment from a bunch of kids, sweet.

The bikes are calling to me. Everytime someone drives by, I stare after it in lustful jealousy. I can’t wait to ride again, but first… must win the lottery so I can afford a bike… and my leathers… pink… no… blue… no… black… argh…

Until then, I can only keep dreaming and working on keeping my head up looking where I want to go…

Vroom.

day 10495: stepping outside the comfort zone

...push... 

Horoscope for the day... how fitting...

"Keep yourself on your toes by diving into a challenge headfirst -- especially a self-imposed challenge. Always been afraid of the high dive? Then it's time to sign up for those diving lessons. Public speaking always have you tongue-tied? Volunteer to speak at a local career day or give a presentation. You'll find that walking straight up to your fear not only vanquishes it, but stimulates your brain in new and exciting ways."

day 10493: if you could read my mind, love…

Some days are better than others. Today is just not one of them. I’m losing direction in my life, and I want to run from what I have now. Take flight, and leave it all behind so that I can regenerate my thoughts and my heart in silence, and not worry about turning around the corner and bumping into my past...

Because it’s everywhere… and I can’t get away from it…

day 10492: indisputable proof on how instant messaging has led to the degradation of the engrish language

splash!!: KFC handy wipes smell like a bad chinese restaurant bathroom.
splash!!: :(
I’m a bad foster parent: ew… your hands smell like poo! :P
splash!!: worse… like old pee and fake lemons!
I’m a bad foster parent: I think poo smells worse
splash!!: old pee reeks…
I’m a bad foster parent: i wouldn't know, i flush before it gets old
splash!!: if it's yellow, let it mellow... j/k... chinese bathroom smell is old pee smell... and cheap cleanser.
I’m a bad foster parent: true nuff. cuz the toilets aren't hooked up to actual plumbing, it's just a hole in the ground under the seat!
splash!!: yo, that's just gross!!
splash!!: I am so blogging this...

day 10491: smile like you mean it

Ah, but what is life if you can’t squander it doing absolutely useless things that may one day come back to haunt you… or maybe even kill you…

A few years back, one of my cousins commented on feeling like she had to make up for lost time. She started doing everything that year – dragonboat, hockey, snowboarding – everything she ever wanted to do, but never had the chance (or the inclination) when she was younger. Follower that I am, I scoffed at her, saying that she had the rest of her life to try new things, but I went along and did everything too… dragonboat, hockey, snowboard… things I wanted to do when I was younger and either stopped doing it for some insane reason, or never really got the chance… you know, dutiful asian girl that I was.

Fast forward a couple of years. I’m at the age she was when she made the comment; actually, maybe even a little older. I’ve lived a lot over the past three years. I’ve tried a lot of things… developed some new habits, got rid of some old mental baggage. My friends are completely different, some new, some old… but all helping contribute to this delinquency that I call life.

I am living… I am experiencing… I am doing things for the sake of trying new things.

I am running out of time.

I feel how my cousin felt three years ago. I feel like I have to do everything possible, experience everything in order to make up for lost time. There are so many things that I have never tried… more than I can even comprehend… and I have to do it all…

“I’ve got to do everything before I turn 30… then I’ll have to start popping out the kids.”

“I’m doing everything possible that’s even remotely got the chance of killing me… I have to live life now…”

“It’s all about the thrill. I have do the things that make me happy… not everyone can afford to throw down $7,000 on electronics, you know…”

So tonight, I’m taking step one thousand ninety three in the journey of being me, and crossing off another thing on my to-do list… motorcycle lessons…

I’m finally going to become a biker chick.

day 10485: and as if i wasn’t already the world’s busiest person…

I think I’m going to start playing flag football starting September.

That means my life will be hectic, crazy insane and I’ll never have time to breath, let alone find another boy… which is good because I’ve decided that most boys are scum and the ones that aren’t are under the age of 6…

Monday, Wednesday… climbing
Tuesday… Ultimate or Multi-sport
Thursday… football
Friday, Saturday, Sunday… drinking, snowboarding or hockey…

Ahhh… this is the life… and the life is good.

day 10483: river sharks

Imagine this. The mighty Ottawa River… the river of the Voyageurs… class 4 white water rapids… people being pitched left, right and center out of their rafts… kayaks going in for the surf, flipping out… carnage everywhere… and all of a sudden, all you hear is your river guide yelling…

“SWIM FOR IT! KICK HARD! WATCH OUT FOR THE ROCK!”

It’s just you, and a glorified flutter board, and out of some weird crazy inability to say no, you decided to swim the Ottawa River. All 15km of it… twice…

Wicked fun.

day 10478: still kicking around…

”All my life, I thought of love as some kind of voluntary enslavement. Well, that’s a lie: freedom only exists when love is present. The person who gives him or herself wholly, the person who feels freest, is the person who loves most wholeheartedly. And the person who loves wholeheartedly feels free.” ~ Paulo Coelho

I'll write a real post soon... too many issues at the moment... oy...

day 10474: thank goodness for ego boosts

ego boost #1: old grandfatherly type tried to introduce me to his twelve year old grandson as I was passing them in the street... ok, maybe not so much an ego boost, but it was s hilariously strange situation.

ego boost #2: I got carded at a club last night. I haven't been carded in a while. I know I look young, but 10 years younger? Give me a break...

day 10472: dear liver... i am soooo sorry...

But no matter how much you're hurting, just be thankful that you're not my heart. Because at this moment, it's experiencing pain like nothing else I've ever felt before. I never want to feel this way again. I wouldn't want to wish it on anyone... not even my worse enemy.

Betrayal hurts.

day 10469: lost and found

... flying high...