day 10782: space
There are days when you sit at home on the couch. On the verge of tears because you’re missing something that you don’t even know you’re missing. You wait for something to happen, but you don’t know what it is that you’re waiting for.
You only know that your life is not as complete as you pretend it to be. You’re not quite as together as people think, and things aren’t really falling into place so much as you once hoped that they would.
The goals and ideas that you once knew now no longer exist. Timelines have come and gone, and the only perception of reality that you have for yourself is now in what people expect of you, but not of what you expect of yourself
The truths you once knew have now become a lie, and you are lying to yourself every moment of every waking second, knowing that you’re still searching for the meaning, the purpose, the thing, task or being that will make your life complete.
And the scariest part of it all is that you’re terrified that you won’t recognize it when you find it, so you’ll forever keep looking for something that doesn’t really exist.
2 comments:
whoa...heavy thoughts...made me sit up and take notice.
Hope it made you feel better writing it down.
I have often wondered whether the grand dreams one initially has for life are akin to a one night stand with an old flame.
Full of seductive words, excitement and high hopes... only to crash around you into a sea of embarrassment, disillusionment and great disappointment.
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