Friday, September 15

day 10878: the dog days of summer past

I suppose you’ve been wondering where I’ve been for the past few months. So have I. I can’t remember. All I can think of is the countless times I found myself watching movies at work (at 1am in the morning) when I should have been working. It’s been a rough few months, a tough year. Hopefully, with the moon rising in the third quarter of the setting sun of the eight planet, things will start looking brighter.

But anyway, just in case I totally lost it, my 1st annual summer summary:

1. I watched a lot of television.
2. I watched a lot of movies at work when I should have been working.
3. I figured out how to set up two monitors at work so that I can work with one monitor and show a movie on the other monitor.
4. Really, I actually do use both monitors to work.
5. No, I’m not a geek, and I will never admit to being one.
6. I spent a lot of time at work.
7. When I say a lot, there were days when I went home to grab a shower and a two hour nap and then I went back to work.
8. I gained 8lbs because my gym was closed by the time I got of work.
9. Also, my brain hurt too much to let me work out, and I got really good at justifying my inactivity.
10. Hence, refer back to #1. No brainpower required.
11. As a result of too much #1, I can no longer fall asleep without the television on.
12. I think it’s a conspiracy.
13. I bought a motorcycle at the beginning of the summer.
14. Three weeks later, I tore something in my hand.
15. A week after that, I did it again.
16. As a result, I still have not really ridden the motorcycle I bought in #13.
17. Which pleases my mother very much because the damned Ministry of Finance sent the motorcycle paperwork to my mother’s house.
18. If you haven’t figured it out, mother hates motorcycles.
19. It was probably better that way, since because of #6, I really haven’t had time to ride the motorcycle anyway.
20. It was also the summer of weddings.
21. There were a lot of weddings.
22. I almost went into debt at one point of the summer because of the weddings.
23. While I’m happy for all the married people, weddings make me sad.
24. I was sad a lot this summer.
25. No, it wasn’t necessarily because of the weddings. See #6.
26. Also see #8. #8 really disturbs me, but I still can’t pull my ass off the couch.
27. I spent a lot of time with the dog.
28. I brought her to work.
29. Creepy guy at work made me scared to be at work by myself when everyone else in the building was gone.
30. Thank goodness creepy guy got fired.
31. Part me still thinks that creepy guy is stalking us and watching us from the parking lot across the street.
32. He was really creepy. He said people’s names after he sneezed.
33. He lied a lot.
34. I hate liars.
35. I ended a close friendship this summer because he wouldn’t stop lying.
36. There were other reasons as well, but I don’t feel like talking about it again.
37. It’s over for now, but I’m waiting for the kerplosions.
38. I’m declaring war….
39. I’m going to the mattresses…
40. I’m moving home to live with the maternal one.
41. Don’t ask.
42. It’s only for a year.
43. Kick me if I’m still there in a year.
44. Unless I’m running my wedding cake business out of the basement by then. Then I’ll need the space.
45. Wedding cake business is a result of #21. Crazy cake lady almost got her face shoved into a cake… biotch wrecked the whole planning process of my cousin’s wedding.
46. So did the guy in #35. Idiot.
47. I went to Calgary.
48. There wasn’t as many cowboys as I had hoped.
49. I really like cowboys.
50. And French boys.
51. Alas, I did neither this summer. Gosh darned it.

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