passion...schmassion

day 11027: randomness from the past month of madness

“Honey, when we come up to talk to you in the bar, we’re not looking to be your friend.”

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“It’s like breaking up with your girlfriend and keeping her around to screw her on the side.”

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“It’s not fair that married people with children get preferential treatment. Why am I working the overtime for ten, when everyone takes off at 4:30?... Monday morning, I’m walking into the office and announcing that I got married on the weekend. And while I’m at it, I inherited a dozen kids as well. And a cat. I hate cats.”

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“I have NO idea where I want to be in two years. I’m thirty, and I live at home with my mother. The only place I know I don’t want to be is there… and here…”

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“I don’t eat my cupcakes. I know what I put them. That stuff will kill you.”

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“I’m a dragon, you could ride me… oh wait, that doesn’t sound too good.”

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“I got married on Sunday. I met the guy on Saturday. His wife died on Tuesday.”

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“You know that book, He’s Just Not Into You?? Well, I’m just not into him.”

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"Everything tastes better when it's smothered in cheese and drowned in gravy."