Saturday, November 24

day 11309: anti-dentite

My dislike of my dentist runs deeper than I care to admit. For twenty years, he has been my family dentist and for the same length of time, Sista and I have had issues with his (and his staff's) condescending attitude and his inability to treat us with the same respect and common courtesy he uses with the parental units and the grandparental unit.

Today's encouter with his office staff had me shaking with rage. During lunch, a misbite onto a whole grain in my 12 grain wheat bread broke off a chunk of my upper left molar, leaving me with a sizable hole in my tooth. Turns out that the cavity I discovered last weekend decided that it couldn't wait for my new benefit plan to kick in Jan 1 and needed to be filled asap.

No problem. Call the dentist. Line was busy. I left a message.

Two hours later the tip of my tongue was raw from poking at the sharp edges of the hole, and I still had not heard from the dentist's office. I called back. They placed me on hold and hung up on me. I called back again.

biatch receptionist: Dr. Y's office.
schmassion: Yes, hello, this is schmassion. I left a message earlier and haven't heard back from your office. Part of my tooth broke off today and I want to see if Dr. Y has time to see me today.
biatch receptionist: No. Dr. Y is fully booked today and is behind. He will not be able to see you.
schmassion: That's fine then. Can you tell me when his first availability is? I have a hole in my tooth that I would like to have filled.
biatch receptionist: Let me check your file... it looks like you were due for a cleaning in May or July.
schmassion: I've been busy.
biatch receptionist: Well, the first space I have available for a cleaning is December 6.
schmassion: Excuse me? December 6th? Don't you have anything earlier?
biatch receptionist: I just told you that the first space I have available for a cleaning is December 6. You will have to make an appointment for December 6.
schmassion: I didn't ask to make an appointment for a cleaning. I asked to make an appointment to have my tooth filled. If need be, I can make a cleaning appointment for another day.
biatch receptionist: You have to wait until December.
schmassion: You don't have any emergency appointments?
biatch receptionist: Is this an emergency?
schmassion: A piece of my tooth broke off today. Yes. I would say that this is an emergency.
biatch receptionist: Then I will have to check with Dr. Y before I can make an appointment.

*5 seconds of silence*

schmassion: Hello? Are you asking Dr. Y?
biatch receptionist: He is very busy, and he is with a patient.
schmassion: That's fine. Please ask him and call me back.
biatch receptionist: He is very busy.
schmassion: I understand. Please ask him and call me back. When can I expect to hear back from you?
biatch receptionist: He is very busy. I will call you next week sometime.
schmassion: Next week sometime? Beginning of the week or end of the week?
biatch receptionist: I don't know.
schmassion: Are you for real?

She was for real. I was livid.

Thus, to Dr. Y and to the biatch receptionist, it's been a wild ride these twenty years, but I'm not willing to accept this treatment from anyone, you especially. I've made an appointment with another dentist for 9:00am Monday morning.

You're fired.

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