Sunday, November 23

day 11677: on speeding through dates

You know… I don’t know why guys aren’t knocking down my door trying to date me. I’m frickin cool. Well, the old me was more frickin cool because new me is just tired from running around all the time. But I’m still frickin cool. So what if I don’t hold my liquor as well as I used to, or that I’m a wee bit more disgruntled and disengaged than I used to be. I’m a heck of a lot more interesting than a couch-sitting, soap-opera-obsessing, brainless dimwit with hair down to her waist and boobs the size of small cantaloupes. And BONUS, I have those too. Sucks to be me, I know. I have it all.

So what is it about speed dating? Eight minutes to introduce yourself. Eight minutes to figure out if you ever want to see that person again and eight minutes to decide if you like someone? WHILE THERE’S AN OPEN BAR?! Are you kidding me? I can’t make decisions when I’m drunk. And I can’t NOT drink when I’m paying $8.89 cents per date which was probably $3.88/date too much considering that I felt like I was dating boring versions of my cousins. The asian part of me had to get my money’s worth.

Where was the chemistry and the lightning bold? WHERE THE HECK WAS INDIVIDUALITY? All look same, all sound same? Nine conversations of almost exactly the same thing – all in finance, IT, business… all like to watch tv, go out to restaurants and watch movies? Sigh. I felt like I was on a job interview talking to headhunters and recruiters… what are your strengths and weaknesses? How would you describe yourself in three words? As something different, people… get a life… tell me an interesting story, tell me what motivates you to get up in the morning… tell me something different!!

Don’t get me wrong. It was fun – a lot more fun than I had expected. Frankly, I wasn’t expecting very much. But apart from the guy who spent 5 minutes (of the 8) trying to convince me that someone in my ancestral history had an affair with a gwei-lo, the guy who complained about someone breaking into his car a few years ago, the unfunny guy who described himself as being witty and humourous and the guy who still saw his parents everyday, they were all ok interesting people. Just no one I was particularly interested in dating.

Then again, I do have am automatic tendency to lump everyone into the friendzone… maybe eight minutes just isn’t enough time for them to get out.



Woe said...

You're right. You ARE frickin cool. Except for your cantaloupes. Those are hot. (PS - I can't believe you wrote cantaloupes.)

Renka said...

I'm late on this post.

I'm dying on the "cantaloupes" mention too. Gosh, you're just too funny/hot/cool.