passion...schmassion

Day 9958: that blessed, blessed, blessed cup of joe

I've discovered that when I am in a super bitchy mood, I can be super bitchy. Not on purpose, of course. No one is ever bitchy on purpose. Wait, I take that back... I have known some people to be bitchy on purpose, but never you mind them - they don't matter. They're just scums of the earth... no joke.

There was no rhyme or reason behind yesterday's bitchiness. It was more like an I'm-exhausted-beyond-belief-and-stressed-out-over-anal-retentive-accountants-among-other-things kind of day - work hazard, I guess, since I'm surrounded by accountants day after day. Days like yesterday should be avoided by all. People should go out of their way to hide from me. I definitely go out of my way to not see people. It was a flushing kind of day*... or in some people's case, a cell phone-throwing kind of day. I scared my junior. I snapped at my manager, and I told someone to get the hell out of my office and never come back.

It was a day of impotent rage and frustration. Not with other people, but with myself. Myself for allowing certain situations to happen and not being able to control the results. Myself for forgetting first and foremost the effort and work I had put into getting where I was, and then trying to ride the momentum instead of putting more effort into getting to a place where I should be. Myself for allowing the limitations that my body sets upon me to get to me - my mind wants to do something, but my body won't allow me to do it... which basically means that my body can do it, my mind just hasn't figured out how.

All attempts at assisted suicide where emphatically denied. Lawrence wouldn't shoot me, Ken wouldn't run over me with a truck, and Heidi-Ho wouldn't throw me out the window or stab me with a letter opener. What kind of friends are those??? (...lol... I love them really... they all listened to me bitch and complain throughout the entire day...thanks guys)

And so I tried to deal with it. Really, what I wanted to do was storm out of the office and regather myself in a land far, far away, but seeing as how I work for a 9-5:30 with no real hope of flex time, I did the only other thing I could do... I ate. And ate. And ate. A package of Kraft Easy Mac, followed by a bag of Dorritos, a bag of Ms. Vicky's Sea-Salt-and-Vinegar, a spicy pepperette, and a Ricky-D's Maple Walnut ice-cream bar...and then salmon sushi. Did it work, you ask??? Hell no. But I got a stomach ache and that made my bitchiness even worse. At the end of the day, bitchiness won out, and I lost. It was a good thing I was home by myself last night... no telling what could have happened or who would have been murdered... lol... Good thing, too, that all phone conversations lasted below 20 seconds. Wouldn't have wanted to say anything that I'd regret later.

Today, I woke up in a mood not unlike yesterday's. I had an early morning meeting, snapped at everyone under the sun, and gave everyone the evil eye. But then I had a cuppa java... the blessed blessed cup of joe... which brought everything into perspective and made everything feel better. Come to think about it, I didn't have my daily cup of coffee yesterday. Hmmmmm... how strange... maybe that's the real cure for bitchiness...

*a flushing kind of day - termed in 2000 on a day much like yesterday where it was believed that the only feasible method of escape was to flush one's self down the toilet head first

PS... my 500th hit (kinda pathetic, I know, but hey, who's counting?!?) is coming up real soon... last I checked, it was at 493... if you're my 500th hit, you get the pick my blog topic for tomorrow (I'm borrowing this idea from Smitten's site). I promise to be brutally honest (within some personal boundaries)... and ICBBQ... refreshing constantly doesn't work. :o)