passion...schmassion

Day 9959: "23" forever

As promised, today's blog topic was chosen by clicker # 500... ICBBQ... who requested a blog on getting old and relationships. Hopefully, I will be able to do this justice... ahem... since I don't have much experience with either one of those topics... ahem... *nudge, nudge, wink, wink*

I've actually been thinking about the age factor since Tuesday. Tuesday was dear Bo's "23rd" birthday... "23rd" for the "4th" time. No big revelations, dear, we all know how old you really are, seeing as how most of us are around the same age, if not slightly older.

I very rarely think about age. It's one of those things that just happen to a person whether or not they want it to. One day we were 10, thinking that we'd never grow up. Next thing we know, we're officially "teenagers." In a blink of an eye we became "legal" and then it tailspins when we hit thirty. Or so they say. But do the numbers really matter? I did not have a big epiphany the day I turned 21. Nothing happened when I turned 25, 26, or 27. Come to think of it, I don't even feel 27. I don't feel 25. I have no idea whatsoever what age I feel at the moment. All I know is that I'm happy and enjoying life regardless of how old I am.

Birthdays have always been somewhat anti-climaxic for me. The attention and the presents are great - who wouldn't love it?! But the day itself... nothing special - life goes on. I don't see it as getting another year older. I see it more as another day older. All semantics - there really is no difference. Day in, day out, it really is mostly the same.

That said, on Tuesday, I had a mini-crisis. An alarm on my biological clock that I forgot to hit snooze on. OMG, I'm turning 28 this year... that means that I'll be 30 in a mere short two years... which means a third of my life is over (assuming that I live to 90, even though I really don't want to)...which means... omg, omg, omg... *breathe, breathe, breathe*... I NEED TO GET MARRIED AND HAVE KIDS BEFORE I'M TOO OLLLLLLLLLLDDDDDDDDDD TO HAVE SEX!!!!!!!!!!!! lol. Talk about unreasonable fears. First of all, you can never be too old to have sex, and second, I'm not even sure that I want to have children. A dog is hard enough to take care of. Children must be a gazillion times worse.

But that brings us to today's lesson, boys and girls. On the runway to the big 3-0 myself, I find myself getting to know more and more people who have jumped the hump, passed the barrier so to speak. I have seen people agonize over their life choices and life decisions as if that one day in their lives marks some kind of milestone and that everything they had ever wanted to achieve in their lives must be aligned and ready to go. And more often then not, they are still lost like the rest of us who haven't reached that pinnacle age. Hitting 30 just makes them think that they are running out of time, and that some self-imposed deadline has yet to be met. And so they stress.

I think we all compare ourselves to our parents. It's only logical seeing as how they play a large part in our lives and once formed the basis for all our thoughts and beliefs (until we grew old enough to have our own opinions). In our parents' generations, kids were popped out before the 30's, little tiny houses were bought and traded up when they got too small... everything was perfect and idealistic. You worked your 9 - 5, came home, took care of the kids, and made merry when they went to bed...if you even had the energy left to make merry at all. That was life.

But today, it's different. Everyone has a need to be self-sufficient. Women want careers because they don't want to rely on the wishy-washiness of men. And in doing so, things get pushed to the side. Relationships, marriage, children... there's time for that later, we tell ourselves... until we hit 30, and think, where the hell did the time go? Then we stress. Stress that we aren't in the idealistic long-term relationship where we have to date the boy for 3 years, married for 2 years, then try to have kids. Stress that the person we are currently seeing may not be the "one". That he leaves the toilet seat up, so that when you're trying to be considerate by NOT turning on the lights when you stumble to the bathroom for your middle-of-the-night-pee you fall butt first into the toilet...and if you're super lucky, he remembered to flush...(that... my friends, is NOT a fun experience). And for some, it worries us that we have yet to even find the boy to leave the silly toilet seat up.

This past weekend, many an hour on the marathon drive to VT was spent debating the merits of speed dating and internet dating. Would you, could you, should you??? I wouldn't, I couldn't, but I probably should. Questions abound, it still resulted in personal preference. To me, meeting someone with the expectation of potential soulmate-dom is wrong. First impressions are usually visual, hence if someone I just met were to come up to me and profess undying love, I'd hesitate more than a moment before I'd even say that I would think about it. I'd like to know that I appeal to someone more than just sexually, and that I click on some kind of an intellectual or friendship level before we start dating. Hence, I prefer to be friends with the person first. However, on the flip side, friendship first poses a whole set of new expectations and another set of dilemmas... could you, should you? Risky, you say... you don't want to lose a friendship, so probably not and hope the feelings go away. But maybe some risks are worth it and even if it doesn't work out, you'll be better friends because of it.

We're all getting older, each one of us, every day. Do the numbers really count? Nope. Does it matter that whatever relationship we're currently in doesn't last forever? Nope. Life has no guarantees. Defining a relationship as "committed" does not prevent one party from cheating on the other, if that is what he/she so desires. No relationship, even marriage is guaranteed to last forever. What matters most is that you go to bed each night thinking... did I have fun today... and if you did, then it was a good day.

Yesterday was a good day. :)