Monday, July 5

Day 10075: No one said that being a control freak was easy

I came to the realization a long time ago that I can’t control everything around me. Not that it ever stops me from trying. Nope, I get myself into the thick of things, force myself into situations where I’m not needed or wanted, and all because it stresses me out to no end if I can’t do anything about it. My life, so it seems, is centered on who I can help, and what I can do… even if my contribution results in nothing at all.

I hate to see people upset. Try my best to solve other people’s problems. Wipe tears. Hold hands. Utter threats about going postal on the offenders with supersoakers… anything to see the person smile, and provide maybe a split second of respite from their worries.

They’re not my problems, not really. They might affect me, here and there, but really it’s someone else’s to deal with. My input means nothing. My life, though affected, is not the issue at stake. And although the world generally *ahem* revolves around me, sometimes it isn’t and I need to be there for the people who need me most. Even if I can’t do anything about it. Hopefully just being there helps.

Two ears to listen, and two nice sturdy shoulders (jelly-flops arms and all…) to cry on. Hopefully, that’s enough. And if it isn’t… well… anything goes… anything.

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