Thursday, March 24

day 10339: ostrich? who me?

For all intents and purposes, I should be rich. If not rich, then I should have a nice healthy portfolio, own a house, maybe a rental property and be merrily on my way to an early retirement. In the least, I should have a semi-healthy portfolio and a rental property on the lakefront that garners me a sweet $1,700 in rental income per month.

But I don’t.

Instead, I have bonds dating back to 1985, a pittance of a so-called-RRSP, an etrade account that is in the red because they’re trying to charge me for my inactivity, $80 in an ING savings account, half a month’s pay in my chequing account, and a whole whack of debt owing to the bank of mom.

As you can tell, I’m well on my way to financial freedom!!

[notice sarcastic way of saying “I’m in the poor house, and if I don’t do something soon, I’m going to be flat broke and living under my desk at the office…”]

Please stop screaming. You don’t need to yell. Yes, yes, I know that as a person gainly employed in the field of FINANCE I should know better. I can discuss theoretical, practical, hypothetical accounting and give detailed tax-ical advice on the most inane of topics. I can manage the funds of a multi-national corporation, yet I can barely balance my own books.


I mean well. I just don’t manage well. I have a pile of unopened mail sitting on my kitchen counter and am dreading the day that said-pile topples over when I’m at work… That would be the day I either find dear-dawg buried under an avalanche of eight month old mail, or deliriously happy running around unfettered in my not-too-tidy condo WITHOUT SUPERVISION. gasp. the. horror…

This is beyond ostrich-investment-personality where if you pretend you don’t see it, it doesn’t exist. This is borderline denial. Screw the ostrich, I’ve barricaded myself in a 4x4 bunker 100’ deep into the ground. I’ve hermit-ized myself from my own personally financial matters. In essence, I’ve become a FINANCIAL DEGENERATE… a FINANCIAL RETARD… a FINANCIAL NOBODY.

It’s time. I’ve bought this book and this book to get me started. This weekend will be filled with paperwork, balancing my debits and credits and getting started on my plan… to gain financial freedom by the time I’m 105.

Freedom 1-0-5 baby… you too can live the dream…

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