passion...schmassion

day 10491: smile like you mean it

Ah, but what is life if you can’t squander it doing absolutely useless things that may one day come back to haunt you… or maybe even kill you…

A few years back, one of my cousins commented on feeling like she had to make up for lost time. She started doing everything that year – dragonboat, hockey, snowboarding – everything she ever wanted to do, but never had the chance (or the inclination) when she was younger. Follower that I am, I scoffed at her, saying that she had the rest of her life to try new things, but I went along and did everything too… dragonboat, hockey, snowboard… things I wanted to do when I was younger and either stopped doing it for some insane reason, or never really got the chance… you know, dutiful asian girl that I was.

Fast forward a couple of years. I’m at the age she was when she made the comment; actually, maybe even a little older. I’ve lived a lot over the past three years. I’ve tried a lot of things… developed some new habits, got rid of some old mental baggage. My friends are completely different, some new, some old… but all helping contribute to this delinquency that I call life.

I am living… I am experiencing… I am doing things for the sake of trying new things.

I am running out of time.

I feel how my cousin felt three years ago. I feel like I have to do everything possible, experience everything in order to make up for lost time. There are so many things that I have never tried… more than I can even comprehend… and I have to do it all…

“I’ve got to do everything before I turn 30… then I’ll have to start popping out the kids.”

“I’m doing everything possible that’s even remotely got the chance of killing me… I have to live life now…”

“It’s all about the thrill. I have do the things that make me happy… not everyone can afford to throw down $7,000 on electronics, you know…”

So tonight, I’m taking step one thousand ninety three in the journey of being me, and crossing off another thing on my to-do list… motorcycle lessons…

I’m finally going to become a biker chick.