Wednesday, November 30

day 10589 1/2: let’s play a game

It’s easy. Just fill in the blanks:

YOU KNOW YOU’RE GETTING OLD WHEN ______________.

I’ll start.

~ chocolate has become “too sweet.”
~ fried food is “too oily” and you start dabbing at it with a napkin.
~ a Big Mac and fries is “too much” and you’re “ugh… soooo full” from eating half.
~ it no longer makes fiscal sense to go to an all-you-can-eat place because even if you ate all-you-could-eat it would have been cheaper to just order what you wanted in the first place.
~ words like “fiscal” and “responsibility” start working it’s way into your everyday vernacular.
~ the Christmas presents that people ooohhh and aaaahhh over are bowls and wafflemakers and not Transformers ™ and Lego ™.
~ you wake up achy and hurting more days than you don’t.
~ fiber content becomes a key decision making factor when you’re buying granola bars for the homeless guys.
~ your 25 year old boyfriend needs to buy a suit for your office Christmas party because he doesn’t have one.
~ you’d kind of rather just veg at home and watch a chick flick for your b-day than go to a bar and get smashed.
~ it only takes two rounds to get smashed.
~ you don’t even want to think of partying like you used to.
~ the once-upon-a-time looming future is now the not-so-looming present.
~ comparison shopping for toilet paper and canned soup is a FUN thing.
~ the only thing you want for Christmas is an umbrella (a very, very good, and very BIG umbrella, mind you).
~ you realize that by the time your mother was your age, she already had two kids and a house.
~ you start making stupid lists like these instead of writing real posts.

Your turn… humour me…

7 comments:

Woe said...

-When coworkers ask what you're doing on the weekend, your reply is - "Not much, running errands and cleaning house."
-You now understand why your parents got up on the *weekends* at 8:00 am.
-You're more excited about getting cash for Christmas than a foil-wrapped gift.
-You're going to more baby showers and wedding showers than bars and clubs.

jay said...

- You realize you're closer to 40 than you are to high school... ugh.
- You go to Home stores more than you go to Toy stores
- You realize the people you try to recruit at waterloo are a decade younger and have just gone to Prom the summer before
- You think about the fact that you saw a classic movie when it first came out, and realize that was 25 years ago

Kapoopie said...

- You can afford an apartment, a car, vacations to Hawaii and your expensive hobbies with minimal pain
- you know you have friends you can rely on even though you have not seen them for ages
- your massive problems in life is to pick one succesful and chalenging career or another
- you realize the people you are trying to recruit are looking up to you as if you are their path to salvation

Happy Birthday Schmassion...

schmassion said...

not quite yet kapoopie... but thanks anyway...

... recruit? who? oooh... pick me! i want to make the big bucks and work on the cool deals too!

... ugh... jay... you just depressed me more. i was thinking short term 30, now i have to think 40?!

teahouse said...

- The music is always too loud, but the tv isn't loud enough.

- It no longer embarrasses you to poop in the office bathroom. Life is too short to be embarrassed about stupid things like gas and flatulence.

- You can't sleep past 10 a.m. anymore, no matter which day of the week.

- You hear your favorite Madonna song on the radio and realize that it came out TWENTY YEARS AGO.

- You skip out on a girls' night out because you can't afford it - it's either partying or the mortgage payment.

jay said...

sorry dude... that's what someone else told me on my big 2-9 two months ago... so i thought i'd share the pain...

anyways more...

- you feel like you don't have the stamina to keep working... and it's not even lunchtime
- suddenly fruits and vegetables taste good... well some of them anyways
- your friends have kids
- you can't believe it's been almost 6 years since Y2K
- you realize that Seinfeld ended almost 8 years ago, and Cheers ended 13 years ago

schmassion said...

~ you don't approve of the way kids are dressing these days.
~ you don't have a clue what "fashizzle" means.
~ you don't get carded at clubs anymore because you look 22 instead of 18.
~ you feel less embarassed buying a home pregnancy kit than buying sex toys for a bachelorette party...(don't ask...)