Tuesday, January 24

day 10644: voting schmoting... the day after...

Politics is becoming a joke in Canada. Minority government after minority government, it’s become more of a battle of ego rather than a battle for good, quality leadership.

It’s not even a question of voting for the best leader for our country. We’re now voting for the best of the worse.

I don’t generally follow politics. It’s a few people huffing and puffing and blowing steam, but never really accomplishing very much. It doesn’t interest me, because I don’t like to argue on suppositions and politic theory. I’d much rather argue accounting theory… that should tell you how much I hate it…

But some key schmassionisms on this year’s elections:

1. It is illegal for me to eat my ballot… too bad, because I remember that grey fuzzy paper to be mighty tasty when I was in kindergarten. I also liked the chemical smell of the ditto paper.

2. Our voting public is generally misinformed on where they can or cannot vote. A lot of people I know who have moved downtown didn’t vote because they didn’t want the hassle of traveling back to their home ridings. Really, all they needed was ID and a piece of mail from whatever riding they actually live in.

3. There was much ado about the Liberal “smear” campaign where no one ever saw the ads. Whereas the Conservative and NDP “smear” ads (about the Liberals) were broadcasted freely throughout all hours of the day. Talk about the kettle calling the pot black… monkey see… monkey do… monkey do nothing but smear poo…

4. Our voting public really doesn’t care. We had four days to vote. Most of us just didn’t feel like it. We are a nation of apathetic seamonkeys who just go with the flow…

5. The “majority” of people actually voted Liberal, but because of how the ridings work and how the population is divided, we have a Conservative government. That sucks.

6. The party with the third most votes doesn’t even really want to be part of the country… really, who can blame them… we’re seriously messed up sometimes. Gilles Duceppe looks like an elf.

7. It’s scary that Stephen Harper is pro-Bush. Anyone who’s pro-Bush is scary… but Harper also looks pasty and looks like he’ll keel over and die from a heart attack at any second. If he can’t take care of himself, how can he take care of a country? I swear he went to a tanning salon halfway through the campaign process.

8. Jack Layton has a porn mustache. He looks slimey. I don’t like his wife… I don’t like that he used his asian elderly mother-in-law as a picture op and tried to play on the ethnic vote. His Cantonese accent is really, really, REALLY bad… dude, you’d think after all these years of marriage, you’d be able to say SOMETHING that we can understand. Do you ever talk to your mother-in-law, or do you just smile and nod?

9. Paul Martin should have retired a long time ago, but I like that he didn’t feel obligated to send Canadian troops to Iraq just because the US did. I like a guy that doesn’t feel pressured by the neighbourhood bully. Seriously, when the Conservative tv ad talked about how his ships were registered in other countries for tax purposes, my geeky-accountant-side thought “Right on, dude!” (ok… so I’m obviously Liberal).

10. There’s a Marxist-Leninist Party of Canada… who knew… who cares…?

Awwww, fcuk it... it was a big waste of money anyway. We'll be going to the polls again within the next year. Just wait and see.

1 comment:

jay said...

I love this post... you're so dead on!... especially on jack layton... his name almost sounds porno-y... lay-yt-on, jack...

down with stephen harper... he's so going to be like the mayor in Spin City... either that or bush's puppet... and how sad is that??