day 11236: do you want a side of fries with that pity platter?
For the past few months, I’ve been going through some things. I found my world turned on its side; not knowing who to trust, not knowing who to believe in, and not having a lot of people to turn to.
Whether world imposed or self imposed, I was surrounded by a lot of negativity. I wasn’t being treated fairly, and in return there was no way in hell I was treating anyone fairly. I became easily irritated, withdrawn, jaded and embittered and started taking things and people for granted, just as I was being taken for granted. I hid away from the world and lost myself in “work” and in “running errands.”
Really I just wanted to be alone to sort things out and wanted no part of the world I believed had deceived me. I started doubting myself and became someone that I didn’t know and didn’t like.
But no more - enough is enough. I’ve spent enough time wallowing in the regret and insecurity of others and the world will not wait for me. I’ve fooled myself long enough and have to start living for me again. I’ve learned my lessons from my past and I’m ready to move on.
Once upon a time, I liked who I was. I had heart, strength and character. But most importantly, I had faith and trust in people.
I want ME back…only this time I’m going to have to do it a little smarter.