day 11338: still waiting

I'm hiding out at home with the dog because I don't want to be where I should be and I don't know why.

day 11331: if i could only have one wish this holiday season

I wish I could like Christmas again.

day 11329: if you're not preggers, it's a really bad idea to eat as if you were

Dear makers of Peptol-Bismol,

It's bad enough that my stomach decided to choose the night of the Keith Urban concert to try to digest my intestines. But after a night of excruciating discomfort, I woke up this morning, looked in the mirror and found that my tongue had turned black during the night.

Thank goodness my inner geek kicked in before I succumbed to the hypochondriac part of me. Before I googled my symptoms, I had a serious moment where I thought I was dying of internal bleeding and contemplated actually going to the walk-in clinic. I hate going to the doctor almost as much as I hate going to the dentist.

Fortunately, it turns out that Peptol-Bismol has the unfortunate side effect of turning your tongue and your um... crap black, but the box only says they might turn dark. A mistake on your part. Dark, I can deal with... black, not so much.

Could you please change your warning labels?

Sincerely,

The still alive and kicking Schmassion

day 11327: fa-la-la-la-pffft

Wow. I'm going on record to say that it's amazingly difficult to have Canadian food products shipped to the US for the holidays. I thought I had a solution by ordering off Amazon.com, but because everything is made in Canada and the US has these wacky FDA laws, everything would be shipped out separately with individual shipping charges. Which means muchos dineros...

I'm stumped. Darn it Sista, your future-in-laws (and you) need to move to Canada!!

day 11324: caught on film

We did a full blown CSI forensic work-up of the crime scene. The bite marks match. The dog is as guilty as they come.

day 11323: no more the merrier

For the longest time, I was the world's biggest proponant of the more the merrier. Every party, every outing, the more people that showed up the happier everyone was and the more fun there was to be had.

Somewhere along the line people's lives started becoming busier (my life started becoming a lot busier) and more people stopped meaning more fun. It became more work and greater costs and a lot less reciprocation.

So, while I love a lot of people and know a whole lot more, somedays I wonder if it's worth the effort. Today, I'm thinking it's not.

day 11319: cross post because it's the day after my birthday and you have to humour me

I had a lot of fun making this cake and I'm pretty damn happy about the way it turned out. Next time, the body will get a little more shaping, but hey, I was hungover from monkeyco Christmas party and didn't even feel like baking.

Now taking orders.

day 11318: things I know I love

1. my fam
2. my friends
3. the dog
4. good food
5. good drink
6. chilling with 1. and 2. above
7. a cuddly day with 3. above
8. a good story
9. an adventure

Happy birthday to me.

day 11317: ringing in the holiday season with a big ass glass of cheer

Given the fiasco that was last year’s monkeyco holiday party, bringing a date to this year’s party was an absolute must. And because I am LIL MS CLUELESS and hence THE DATELESS WONDER, I figured I’d bring the CHAMPION OF BACKUP DATES, Mr. ICBBQ himself.

We had a fabulous time. We wined, we dined, and then we wined some more. We ate with the dinosaurs and danced with the mummies. The bartender thought I was the entertainment and refused to serve me (BAD MOVE, BUSTER).

Afterwards, we froze our toes off walking in snowdrifts, trying to hail a cab smack dab in the middle of entertainment district on a Saturday night… in the middle of a snowstorm.

Best. Time. Ever.

day 11313: monday, wednesday dread

It begins again. Wednesday night and I'm filled with dread. It's climbing night, or rather, it's supposed to be climbing night. But I haven't felt like going to the gym for the past six months/ year or so. I'm not quite sure why.

I'm not sure I enjoy it anymore. There's too much of a constant pressure to be better. My body doesn't take the strain well. I'm always injured. I can't climb as well or as hard as I used to.

But I think I dread it because it's not a sanctuary for me anymore. Hasn't been since we switched from the old Monday, Thursday schedule. Fcukers.

I'd much rather go home and veg on the couch while eating salty goodies, but then I'll get even fatter and I'll be single forever.

day 11312: it all comes down to the perks

One of the perks here at monkeyco is getting to try new stuff before it hits the market.

One of the non-perks here at monkeyco is that sometimes the new stuff tastes like cough syrup. BLECH!!

day 11311: anti-dentite part 2

I spent the better part of this morning with the left side of my face numb and a lot of latex fingers in my mouth.

Turns out, the hole in my tooth was a lot bigger than I thought and the whole side of my tooth had broken off. According to my new dentist, the cavity was pretty deep and pretty close to the nerve. She didn't say it outright, but suggested that the new cavity was right next an old filling that might have "shifted" to allow mouth dirt to filter in and gnaw away at my pearly whites. Gee thanks, old dentist who kept on telling me that my tooth's "defects" didn't need fixing.

Something else I found out today... despite my many painful prepubescent years spent in braces, my teeth have shifted and chances are that I might need to rebrace over the next couple years. I also grind my teeth a lot and have worn down a lot of the enamel on the teeth on the left side of my mouth, thus, I might need a nightbite retainer thingymajiggy to save me from further wear and tear. She's sending estimates to my insurance company.

I'd like to thank old dentist for telling me these things way back when so that I would have known to opt for the enhanced dental coverage with monkeyco, and not just accept basic coverage(note sarcasm). Oh, and it turns out, I'm not allergic to novocaine after all, so all those years of anesthetic-less drilling were for naught. Thanks for that.

PS. You're fired.

I'd also like to thank biatch receptionist for actually calling me back this afternoon with her surly attitude to inquire about whether my cavity was actually bothering me because if it wasn't bothering me, there was no way the old dentist was going to see me. Not any more, thank you very much.

Guess what, you're fired too.

Oh, and kiwi allergies are related to latex allergies and Brush-Ups are a good thing. I think I like my new dentist.

day 11309: anti-dentite

My dislike of my dentist runs deeper than I care to admit. For twenty years, he has been my family dentist and for the same length of time, Sista and I have had issues with his (and his staff's) condescending attitude and his inability to treat us with the same respect and common courtesy he uses with the parental units and the grandparental unit.

Today's encouter with his office staff had me shaking with rage. During lunch, a misbite onto a whole grain in my 12 grain wheat bread broke off a chunk of my upper left molar, leaving me with a sizable hole in my tooth. Turns out that the cavity I discovered last weekend decided that it couldn't wait for my new benefit plan to kick in Jan 1 and needed to be filled asap.

No problem. Call the dentist. Line was busy. I left a message.

Two hours later the tip of my tongue was raw from poking at the sharp edges of the hole, and I still had not heard from the dentist's office. I called back. They placed me on hold and hung up on me. I called back again.

biatch receptionist: Dr. Y's office.
schmassion: Yes, hello, this is schmassion. I left a message earlier and haven't heard back from your office. Part of my tooth broke off today and I want to see if Dr. Y has time to see me today.
biatch receptionist: No. Dr. Y is fully booked today and is behind. He will not be able to see you.
schmassion: That's fine then. Can you tell me when his first availability is? I have a hole in my tooth that I would like to have filled.
biatch receptionist: Let me check your file... it looks like you were due for a cleaning in May or July.
schmassion: I've been busy.
biatch receptionist: Well, the first space I have available for a cleaning is December 6.
schmassion: Excuse me? December 6th? Don't you have anything earlier?
biatch receptionist: I just told you that the first space I have available for a cleaning is December 6. You will have to make an appointment for December 6.
schmassion: I didn't ask to make an appointment for a cleaning. I asked to make an appointment to have my tooth filled. If need be, I can make a cleaning appointment for another day.
biatch receptionist: You have to wait until December.
schmassion: You don't have any emergency appointments?
biatch receptionist: Is this an emergency?
schmassion: A piece of my tooth broke off today. Yes. I would say that this is an emergency.
biatch receptionist: Then I will have to check with Dr. Y before I can make an appointment.

*5 seconds of silence*

schmassion: Hello? Are you asking Dr. Y?
biatch receptionist: He is very busy, and he is with a patient.
schmassion: That's fine. Please ask him and call me back.
biatch receptionist: He is very busy.
schmassion: I understand. Please ask him and call me back. When can I expect to hear back from you?
biatch receptionist: He is very busy. I will call you next week sometime.
schmassion: Next week sometime? Beginning of the week or end of the week?
biatch receptionist: I don't know.
schmassion: Are you for real?

She was for real. I was livid.

Thus, to Dr. Y and to the biatch receptionist, it's been a wild ride these twenty years, but I'm not willing to accept this treatment from anyone, you especially. I've made an appointment with another dentist for 9:00am Monday morning.

You're fired.

day 11308: even guys need to have their "pretty pretty princess" moments

Three guys in a theatre watching Enchanted together.

How bizarre.

day 11306: slightly preggers

schmassion: how's baby?
hinda: kicking ....I'm loving it! :)
schmassion: really?! that's so cool! how does it feel?
hinda: like gas
schmassion: the rumbly gas or the crap i gotta go gas?

day 11305: reason #897394856 why i love my friends

They're really, really great for the ego...

From: schmassion
To: IronchefBBQ
Subject: So...

As my Christmas party date, can you handle this??? :P

"sugarshock says: yes. he will be fine, but he should be projecting, *I'm with the hottest lady in the room*
sugarshock says: benefits both of you"


~

From: IronchefBBQ
To: schmassion
Subject: Re: So...

What is the context of this quote?

It won't be a problem at all projecting that I'm with the hottest girl since it will be true.

Thanks guys, you rock!

day 11304: eating cheaply, but eating well

About a year and a half ago, I did an experiment to see if I could eat on $20 a week or less (including coffees and snacks, but not dinner and definitely not drinks after work… egad). And while it was successful in terms of money, it failed in terms of healthfulness. My diet sucked that week. I lived on fast food dollar menus and months old crap I cleared out of my freezer. I survived, but it’s not something that I would care to repeat again.

Throughout my childhood, cheap eating was a recurring theme. There were years of simple dinners of chicken wings (before the advent of buffalo wings) and egg drop soup (made with canned crème of corn) accompanied by bowlfuls of rice. Grocery shopping trips to Chinatown would net scores of cheap finds of animal parts that major grocery stores would reject. I’m talking face, feet and innards. The budget was stretched, but we ate well. Everything was homemade, even the yogurt.

As we got older, all-you-can-eat buffets began to grow in popularity. It became a family tradition of sorts that every Christmas one adult would take 10 children (cousins too) to a buffet where for the low, low price of $6.95 per child under the age of 11 we could eat to our hearts content. We were always under the age of 11, if you get my drift.

And so we ate until we could eat no more. We had contests to see who could eat the most plates of food. There was a mussel eating contest in Boston once. A cousin, who probably had a promising future as a competitive eater, devoured an astounding 70-something mussels… on top of the other food that he ate. Another time at a hot pot restaurant, we were served 23 plates of beef before the restaurant decided they didn’t want to honour the AYCE.

On family trips, my parents would eschew the restaurants where other tour members would dine, and instead we’d walk alongside the river bank, country field, etc grasping a baguette and fresh roasted chicken in one hand and a refilled bottle of something in the other. This was years before bottled water became popular. Or maybe this was years before I could fathom that people would want to pay for water that came free out of a tap.

Later on, even on my own trips, we ate cheaply. Cousin Bo, Min and I survived for a week in San Diego on pepperettes and stolen airplane food, supplemented by free conference food and the occasional (very occasional) dinner out. Best meal (and worse meal) on the 2003 France trip was a round of brie, baguettes, roasted chicken and some bad andouille (yuck) while sitting on a stone wall in the middle of Bayeux.

These days, I go through phases. I’m constantly looking for something new to try and have spent a lot of money doing so over the past few years. For the most part, things have been good, but for a lot of it, things have been disappointing as well. Everything tastes the same these days. Half the time, I don’t even know what I’m paying for.

My next goal – to eat cheaply, but to eat well. So for the next little while, I’ll be rediscovering the city in hopes of reawakening my palate. Whether it be something I make myself, or not, something has got to give. Somewhere out there I’ll find something soul-shattering.

All you out there… if you’re out there… post up suggestions. Results to be posted on almost a foodie.

day 11303: qu'est-ce que je peux dire?

I've been trying to use my gum to make an imprint of my tooth to see if I have a cavity.

I hate going to the dentist.

day 11299: how the commitment phobe makes a decision

Sista has a good way for making tough life choices. Flip a coin. If you're happy about the outcome, you've made the right choice. If you're sad about it, you've made the wrong choice.

Two out of three times came up as tails. I was happy. Decision made. I'm staying at monkeyco for just a while longer.

day 11297: decisions... decisions... how the heck can i make decisions at a time like this

I sit here weighing the pros and cons of something that will hugely impact my life for the next few years.

My brain tells me that this may be the closest yet of me finding what I've been looking for, but my gut tells me that it's not. Perhaps something better will come along, but I hope I won't regret my decision - whatever the heck it might be.