Friday, June 25

Day 10065: Traumatized...


Telephone conversation with my mother today:

Mom: So what are you doing this weekend?
Me: going to Hamilton...
Mom: When are you coming back?
Me: don't know... Sunday maybe? *thinking about the bonfire we're having Saturday night*
Mom: You're staying there the whole weekend?
Me: Yeah, I guess so... *crap! what have I just done?!!*
Mom: So are the two of you together now or what?
Me: ummm...no... yes... I don't know... I guess so... *how the hell do I get out of this mess?*
pause...silence...pause
Mom: Are you on birth control pills?
Me: NO!!!
Mom: I want you to be safe. You know you were feeling nauseous for the past month...
Me: No, it's not like that! I'm just allergic to something... Allergies... I just finished my... ummm...
Mom: We need to talk about this when you get back.
Me: Um, maybe. *Oh $#@%$#!!!!*

Telephone conversation with Triscuit:

Me: You know how wierd stuff happens to me every day? I'm so traumatized...
Him: Why? What happened today? *moving stuff in the background...*
Me: *whisper* My MOM asked if I was on birth control...
Him: *whisper* What? I can't hear you...
Me: *louder whisper* MY MOM ASKED IF I WAS ON BIRTH CONTROL PILLS...
Him: Ha-ha! That's pretty funny! Don't you talk about this stuff with your mother?
Me: Ummm... what do you think?
Him: Oh yeah... I guess not. That's still pretty funny... Ha-ha...
Me: She wants to talk about it...
Him: Good luck...

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