Monday, August 30

Day 10133 1/2: And now you know where I get it from...

Act I, Scene i:
Scene: Maternal unit knows that J is secretly coveting soon-to-be-ex-stepdad's bed that J's been using as her own for the last four years. She also knows that J's budget for the next little while is going to be extremely tight, hence the fact that J has been sleeping on a deflating inflatable air mattress and when that popped, the lumpy pull out couch... what she doesn't know though, is that J does have an emotional attachment to that bed...

J: I have to buy a bed. I don't want to buy a bed... I like my old bed...
M: I have an idea - why don't we tell ESD (evil stepdad) that the dog has slept in that bed. Maybe then he won't want to keep it anymore.
J: Really???? You think that will work? That would be awesome.
M: Hmmm. I'll talk to him about it...
J: Maybe you should tell him that she peed in the bed - that way for sure he won't want it.
M: Did she?
J: Uh - no.

Act I, Scene ii:
Scene: J checks telephone messages...

M: (sounding absolutely positively excited) Call mommy as soon as you get this message...

Act I, Scene iii:
Scene: J returns phone call... absolutely positively perplexed...

J: You called?
M: I have an even better idea!
J: What?
M: He hates your dog. I'm not going to tell him about the mattress. Let him sleep where your dog slept. Hee hee...
J: That's evil... he hates my dog?
M: Yes. Maybe we can even get Tootsie to pee on the bed. Serves him right.
J: Damn. No free bed.

3 comments:

Woe said...

Haha, funny...but you're better off without the bed. Start fresh with a brand new bed..let ESD have the peed on bed. (And even if you don't think it happened, chances are, it was peed on.)

Anonymous said...

I know a couple of guys who would also be willing to pee on your bed, or anywhere else for that matter! ; )

schmassion said...

How do you know he already hasn't??? :) ewwwwwww... sorry - Andre's campfire tutorial is getting to me...