passion...schmassion

Day 10134: My last $7.72

Oh dear, I think I'm broke. I must remember not to spend so much. Those two months rent that came out this month - not necessary. That over-the-top car payment - insignificant. The hundreds of thousands of dollars spent on boozies... um... um... um... ok, so that was an itty bitty of a necessity. It helped me get through the past couple of months, didn't it?

This morning, I walked out my door with $7.72. Payday not being until tonight, I thought, if I spend wisely, I'd just about get through the day and go to the bank for a top-up tomorrow. No big deal, I've gone through days where I've spent less. Breakfast-o'-Timmy-styles (a must because I was starving) bagel $2.00, coffee $1.50. I could do the same for lunch, and still have $0.72 left. Awesome.

Mmmmm... Timmy's coffee... extra jolt of caffeine...

Except that I didn't figure in the guilty feelings I got when I pass by a homeless man, and I didn't figure that he would stare at me through the Timmy's window as I stood patiently in line. So I bought him a bagel too... total bill $5.03. Leaves me $2.69 for lunch. Which I threw into my bag and promptly lost. I'm not so good with carrying change.

Up the street I walk with my bagel and coffee. Feeling a little springy and maybe a little happier that I appeased my guilt by buying someone breakfast. Someone who definitely needed it more than I do, even though by this time, my stomach was having some serious conversation with my spine and my mind had virtually shut down from caffeine withdrawal.

"Just a few minutes more" I tell my grumbly tummy... "Hold on, you can make it."

And then it happened. I accidentally made eye contact with someone sitting just outside my office.

"Can you spare some change ma'am?"

Crap. There is absolutely no way that I'd be able to find some change in that bottomless pit of a bag I refuse to call a purse. I look at him, I look at my purse. I look at him and look at my hands, look at the bagel and look at the coffee. My tummy growled loudly...

"Would you like my coffee. Milk, no sugar. I haven't drank from it yet."

"I'd love it..."

Lunch went on the credit card. I felt like splurging just because I could.