day 10890: open call

I need suggestions for my "30 things to do before I'm done being 30."

Post up and be creative! I've done a lot of stuff in these 29 years of mine...

day 10889: it’s not the end to the journey, but the journey to the end

Oh sweet nectar, thou dost betray me.

I yearn for you. Too much, methinks.

You force my hand, and I must renounce thee.

Get thee from my sight, oh sweet, wondrous ambrosia.

Get thee from my sight…

Raise one up for me. I’m going dry until December. First step for the 30 things to do before I’m done being 30. I’ll post up another time.

[ed note: hm, this is really hard… let’s try two weeks to start…]

day 10887: so long, farewell...

day 10886: procrastination

um... somebody help?

day 10884: what’s your mcbeef?

Questions du jour:

1. What’s in my McPatty that it only costs $0.04 to upgrade from a cheeseburger to a double cheeseburger? Is it really beef? Should I be scared?

2. Can McD really make a profit on my $0.04 beef patty? Should I be scared?

3. Where in the world is McD’s finding such cheap cows? What kind of crazy-ass mad cows are these? Should I be scared?

4. Why does it cost me $0.10 to get an extra dipping sauce for my McNuggets where it only costs me $0.04 for a “meat product”? Should I be scared?

5. Why do I sound like a crazy-ass cheapo accountant? I’m scared.

day 10882: go speedracer…

Wow, what a week so far.

Sunday, I almost killed myself stepping on my own dog’s crap. I slipped and skidded and just narrowly avoided a header into boxes of wine glasses.

Today, I got a speeding ticket going 73km/h in a 50km/h zone. Only, I HONESTLY thought that it was 60km/h. 3 demerit points, so I’m taking it to court.

Forget going to the mattresses… I’m going back to bed.

day 10880: courting a new beginning

30 boxes weren’t enough.

In a week, I will be moving home to living with the mama. Hopefully, it will only be for a year until things get settled and the Toronto real estate market crashes.

But somehow I doubt it.

Though I love living by the waterfront, and I love the lifestyle that I lead, there is something missing. I need something more.

I need room to fuel my passions, room to grow, and room to redevelop a love for myself.

Things will be different. It will take a lot of time to adjust. There will be days that I rage against my situation and who I think I’ve become. But hopefully in the end it will all be for the best.

Hopefully, it will only be for a year.

Or until the Toronto real estate market crashes.

Whichever one happens first.

day 10879: wist and wonderment

I dreamt that I bumped into Brad Pitt and we began reminiscing about days past. Years ago, we dated for all of nine days until I dumped him for Triscuit.

I broke Brad’s heart. He came in for a good bye kiss and I rejected him. I completely forgot and laughed at him when he told me. I’d even forgotten that I even dated him.

I woke up thinking that I had to dig up some pictures from that summer to show my Brad Pitt crazed coworker. It took me a while to realize that it had all been a dream and Brad doesn’t know I exist.

day 10878: the dog days of summer past

I suppose you’ve been wondering where I’ve been for the past few months. So have I. I can’t remember. All I can think of is the countless times I found myself watching movies at work (at 1am in the morning) when I should have been working. It’s been a rough few months, a tough year. Hopefully, with the moon rising in the third quarter of the setting sun of the eight planet, things will start looking brighter.

But anyway, just in case I totally lost it, my 1st annual summer summary:

1. I watched a lot of television.
2. I watched a lot of movies at work when I should have been working.
3. I figured out how to set up two monitors at work so that I can work with one monitor and show a movie on the other monitor.
4. Really, I actually do use both monitors to work.
5. No, I’m not a geek, and I will never admit to being one.
6. I spent a lot of time at work.
7. When I say a lot, there were days when I went home to grab a shower and a two hour nap and then I went back to work.
8. I gained 8lbs because my gym was closed by the time I got of work.
9. Also, my brain hurt too much to let me work out, and I got really good at justifying my inactivity.
10. Hence, refer back to #1. No brainpower required.
11. As a result of too much #1, I can no longer fall asleep without the television on.
12. I think it’s a conspiracy.
13. I bought a motorcycle at the beginning of the summer.
14. Three weeks later, I tore something in my hand.
15. A week after that, I did it again.
16. As a result, I still have not really ridden the motorcycle I bought in #13.
17. Which pleases my mother very much because the damned Ministry of Finance sent the motorcycle paperwork to my mother’s house.
18. If you haven’t figured it out, mother hates motorcycles.
19. It was probably better that way, since because of #6, I really haven’t had time to ride the motorcycle anyway.
20. It was also the summer of weddings.
21. There were a lot of weddings.
22. I almost went into debt at one point of the summer because of the weddings.
23. While I’m happy for all the married people, weddings make me sad.
24. I was sad a lot this summer.
25. No, it wasn’t necessarily because of the weddings. See #6.
26. Also see #8. #8 really disturbs me, but I still can’t pull my ass off the couch.
27. I spent a lot of time with the dog.
28. I brought her to work.
29. Creepy guy at work made me scared to be at work by myself when everyone else in the building was gone.
30. Thank goodness creepy guy got fired.
31. Part me still thinks that creepy guy is stalking us and watching us from the parking lot across the street.
32. He was really creepy. He said people’s names after he sneezed.
33. He lied a lot.
34. I hate liars.
35. I ended a close friendship this summer because he wouldn’t stop lying.
36. There were other reasons as well, but I don’t feel like talking about it again.
37. It’s over for now, but I’m waiting for the kerplosions.
38. I’m declaring war….
39. I’m going to the mattresses…
40. I’m moving home to live with the maternal one.
41. Don’t ask.
42. It’s only for a year.
43. Kick me if I’m still there in a year.
44. Unless I’m running my wedding cake business out of the basement by then. Then I’ll need the space.
45. Wedding cake business is a result of #21. Crazy cake lady almost got her face shoved into a cake… biotch wrecked the whole planning process of my cousin’s wedding.
46. So did the guy in #35. Idiot.
47. I went to Calgary.
48. There wasn’t as many cowboys as I had hoped.
49. I really like cowboys.
50. And French boys.
51. Alas, I did neither this summer. Gosh darned it.

day 10875: there’s so much

There’s so much I want to say…
So much I want to do…
So much I want to see…
I want so much to live.

But I can’t because I’m stuck…
In a rut…
In a hole…
In someone else’s life.

Help me.

I’m back.