Thursday, January 31

day 11378: zip this

I’ve been trying to be economically conscious these days so I’ve been packing a lunch to eat at my desk at Monkeyco. (Once I’m here my lazy ass doesn’t like to be parted from my comfy cracked faux leather seat.)

Admittedly, I’m not as environmentally conscious as I am economically conscious, so occasionally I’ll stuff my handful of grapes or cookies into a Ziploc bag instead of toting around a skunky old Tupperware container. However, dog-owner that I am, I do save my baggies to use as future poop-and-scoop props.

Except I forgot that living with the maternal one has made me an incredible lazy dog owner who just lets her dog poop all over the front lawn. Now I have a growing collection of slightly used Ziploc bags at my desk that I’m not quite sure what to do with.

Maybe I should post them on Craigslist.

Wednesday, January 30

day 11377: why qww and i are friends...

schmassion: i used to have pet earthworms that i carried around in tic tac boxes
QWW: explains a lot
schmassion: like what?
QWW: my sister and i had a hospital
schmassion: what kind of hospital?
QWW: for worms

Monday, January 28

day 11375: for what it’s worth

It seems like every day there’s another subway delay. This morning, I was 40 minutes late for work. Last week, I was late 3 out of 5 days – all because of things that happened on the subway. Minor fires and typical signal problems led to delays which led to people becoming a little too hot and bothered and everything snowballed when someone with an itchy trigger finger activated the passenger alarm.

This morning’s delay was excessive – even the CGM of the TTC was late for a meeting with the TTC chairman. Mechanical problems started a chain reaction which culminated into a passenger alarm activated on my southbound train. Someone was overcome by the heat and passed out, the entire train was evacuated and paramedics called.

Like everyone else, I bitch and moan about being crammed into a packed subway car with hundreds of other sweaty, anxious people. I hate being pressed up close to people. In an ideal world, my personal space is such that I can stick out both my arms and turn around in a full circle without hitting anyone. I hate more than anything to be late… even if it is for work.

But here’s the thing – no matter how inconvenience you are, you really shouldn’t make light of the situation. It might be funny to you when you call the office to tell them that “another person bit the dust,” or that it was “your typical Monday morning hostage taking,” but to the rest of us who are smashed into the train with you (me, having let 3 trains pass already because it was too full to get on), you sound like an insensitive, selfish ass who doesn’t realize that 5 trains ahead of you, there really is someone still lying on the floor because the paramedics couldn’t get through the crowd and into the train before it pulled out of the station – all because they tried to speed up service.

For what it’s worth though… I do have questions about this morning’s fiasco:

1. To the people standing outside the windows of the car of the fallen guy – why do you continue to watch when you know that the poor guy deserves his privacy?

2. To the TTC logistics people – when you stopped the northbound train and evacuated it to send it southbound, why didn’t you direct the hoards of people standing on the platform to get onto the train so as to clear out some of the congestion?

3. To the TTC logistics people, the paramedics, the police officers – why weren’t you better coordinated so that the paramedics could actually get onto the train to help the guy, instead of pulling away from the station just as they got there?

4. To the CGM and the chairman of the TTC – Can you please take this as a sign that something must change?

Tuesday, January 22

day 11368: ah brain, don't fail me now

Little by little, my mind is slowly fading. What once was crisp and clear is now a hazy fuzz of grey. I can't remember things anymore and my once astounding knowledge of useless facts has dwindled down to a mere handful. Either a lot of things have changed in ancient history over the past few years, or I'm completely losing it.

Thursday, January 17

day 11363: the thing about me

Sometimes I wish I lived a much more exciting life. I fantasize about winning the lottery and having the ability to just pick up on a whim and fly to the corners of the globe.

Sometimes I wish I didn't live such an exciting life. I dream about the days that I can curl up with a mug of steaming hot tea, reading a book on a cold winters day.

Sometimes I wish I knew what it is that I really want in life. I wish for a day that I can go to bed at night and whisper to myself, "I am happy" and fall asleep with a smile on my face.

Most of the time, though, I wish I wouldn't walk around muttering to myself. People around me are starting to think that I'm nuts.

Monday, January 14

day 11360: Uh-Oh...

Do you feel sad or irritable?
YES, PISS OFF. IF I DON'T, WOULD I BE DOING THIS QUESTIONAIRE?

Have you lost interest in activities you once enjoyed?
YES

Have you experienced changes in weight or appetite?
YES

Have you experienced changes in sleeping pattern?
I CAN'T REMEMBER THE LAST TIME I SLEPT THROUGH A NIGHT.

Do you experience feelings of guilt?
YES. I'M ASIAN.

Are you unable to concentrate, remember things, or make decisions?
SORRY, CAN YOU REPEAT THE QUESTION?

Have you experienced fatigue or loss of energy?
ZZZZ...

Have you experienced restlessness or decreased activity noticed by others?
YES.

Do you feel hopeless or worthless?
HOPELESS, YES. WORTHLESS, NO.

Have you had thoughts of suicide or death?
DON'T WE ALL?

Tuesday, January 1

day 11347: happiness is in finding your inner bahama mama

I couldn't take the endless snow and cold of the Canadianana winter, so QWW, Posie and I hopped onto a jet plane and took off for warmer waters where we spent a backbreaking few days getting things for free and baking ourselves golden in the sun.

Now that I'm back, I can quite freely say - I HATE BEING COLD... I WANT TO MOVE SOMEWHERE WARM AND HOT AND SURROUNDED BY ENDLESS VISTAS OF CLEAR BLUE WATER.

The SAD and the bitterness is back with a vengeance. Someone find me when the sun starts shining again. Ugh.

Happy New Year anyway.