day 11590: torn

For those of you who know me, you know that my dog is my life. I love that little ball of white fluff more than anything else in this world and I can honestly say that there have been times where she was the only thing I loved in this world.

She's a fantastic puppy and if I could clone her without her heart condition, I would do it a million times over. She's been the best thing that's ever happened to me and I know that I'm a better person (and a different person) from having her in my life.

It was really hard to hear that our time is limited and that she only has a few years to go. I have a lot of difficulty accepting it and don't like thinking about it or talking about it. I know I'll have to deal with it eventually, but I'm putting it off until another time.

For years, I've wanted to get her a friend. Another puppy that she can relate with and bond with. Something else of her kind for me to baby so that they two of them can sleep intertwined on my bed. But for years, I've listened to everyone else around me telling me how much of a princess she is and how much of an "only-child" she is etc etc. And for years, they were right. We weren't ready to grow our little family.

I've been rethinking things for the past half a year - constantly going over the what-ifs and why-nots in my mind. What if they don't like each other, what if Toot gets too tired playing with the puppy... and while still racked with guilt over the possible negative why-nots, I've come to a conclusion - to be frank, I can't deal with an empty house when Toot goes. The emptiness will kill me.

So guess what, boys and girls... the Toot and I are getting a puppy.

day 11587: my own kitchen nightmare

I dreamt last night that I was competing on Iron Chef in a cook-off against some seasoned pros. Gordon Ramsey was one of the judges and went on and on about amateur chefs and started harshly criticizing my technique when it came to pan frying a piece of fish that refused to cook through. It was just fish, for god’s sake!

Frustrated, I stormed out of Kitchen Stadium and came back a few minutes later with my trump card and his comeuppance… a half melted chocolate popsicle rolled in deep fried pulverized fish skin. Yum.

day11583: double standards

I find myself doing a double take every time I see a middle-aged asian woman standing outside smoking. It looks really out of place to me and I’m not sure why… well, maybe because all my asian chick ancestors are paragons of virtue and have no vices whatsoever. Or maybe they’re just really good at hiding whatever it is that they do.

Just like I do.

day 11581 11582: randomania

1. Apathy vs. Empathy

Darn this whole ESL business. Who knew that two little words would make such a big difference. Ok, I’m not really ESL and I didn’t actually use the words incorrectly, but to those who are and have, there’s a whole lot of difference between being apathetic and empathetic. i.e. You should be empathetic that I am apathetic as I no longer give a shit about anything anymore.

2. Attention Deficit Dis… huh?

I did a whole bunch of tests that all ended up saying that it’s highly probably that I have ADD… which explains a hell of a lot of the idiocy that is my life, the craziness that surrounds me, my extreme BOREDOM of all that lies around me, and why I can’t keep a straight thought going in my head for more than 5 minutes.

NOTE: these weren’t silly little online tests either… they were highly in-depth, detailed, multiple questioned tests that I actually had to sit and pay attention to. But given the way through which I zoomed through the two 120-130 questioned tests, I really wonder if I actually have ADD. Then again, it did take me about 4 months worth of procrastinating to get through them, and I actually forgot about the second test until I went back and tried to retake the first test to get a better score.

3. Cure-All-For-Boredomness

I need a new hobby. I need a new love interest. Hell, I just need something to do that will put a little excitement back into my life. That whole cake making thing... yeah, what of it? I came, I saw, I did, I rocked it out. But now it’s over and I’m fat from eating all that cake. I don’t even like cake. Well, I didn’t before. Now I like it a bit too much. There’s something wrong with that picture. Wait, I don’t even want to see that picture.

Oh yeah… and for all you with hobby suggestions, I need a suggestion OTHER THAN going to the bar. Cuz I’ve been doing a little too much of that as well. Let’s go for hobby suggestions other than something that involves putting thngs in my mouth. Crap, I suppose I can’t have a new love interest either then. Shit. Just joking. Right.

4. Growing up sucks

Ok, vet bills and automatic number formatting suck more. But seriously, growing up and having a mortgage and having to force myself to save money for retirement AND not winning the lottery really, really, really sucks. Now instead of going traipsing around Egypt and Dubai for a few weeks, I can only afford to fly to San Fran on points and prostrate myself in front of Sista and the NEWBRO begging for mercy accommodations and a piece of floor upon which I can lay my head. But, hey, who’s complaining… not me!!! Lucky duck Sista and NEWBRO have a killer, killer view of the ocean. Maybe we can hit up French Laundry… hint hint hint…

5. Irony

For someone who hates weddings as much as I do, I kind of picked a really funny side-business to involve myself in. Not that I’m complaining about either cake or weddings or wedding cake… I’m just making a strange observation about myself…

6. I'm asian and can't do math...

Miscounted my days again... sigh...

day 11580: echoes from the past

“What a waste…”

… of time… of money… it didn’t really matter. Five ex-students and only one remained minorly involved with music. The rest of us left our burgeoning musical careers far behind us in the dust of dreams and innocence. We waited for inspiration, but there wasn't any. There was only the requirement of accomplishment and the obligatory drive for success.

So sad. I suppose I should take it up again... on the flip side, teaching myself how to play the guitar has been pretty easy so far...

day 11579: chasing the dream… the token Olympics post

I’ve always wanted to be in the Olympics. Never mind that there isn’t a particular sport that I excel at (or am even half decent at, for that matter), I still want to live the dream. I want to walk amongst my fellow country(wo)men waving enthusiastically at hundreds of thousands of eye-blinding camera flashes.

I know I’m just north of thirty, but it’s not too late. There’s a fifty-something year old fencer, a couple of thirty-something swimmers, and then there’s 61year old Ian Millar who just won a medal by sitting well on a horse… ok, there’s more to the sport than that. But what I’m getting at is that there’s a whole slew of things I can try and get really, really good at within the next 3-4 years so I can make the next set of Olympic games. And then if not, there’s always curling and the winter games to aim for. Sweet.

But I gotta say one thing… what the hell is with the Canada flag on Ian Millar’s helmet? It makes him look like he’s wearing a pair of panties on his head.


(pic from the associated press)

day 11578: take a pair of earplugs and a valium... and don't call me in the morning

There's nothing quite as disconcerting as a large group of pre-teens simultaneously shrieking, "OH MY GOD, THAT'S THE CUTEST DOG EVER!" just as you walk by.

day 11572: why yes, i do suffer from colossal fingers in mouth disease!

Text to Posie while standing in line waiting to pick up my now-fixed-formerly-possessed cellphone:
"I'm standing in the slowest line in the world at the Rogers store..."

20 minutes pass by...

Said the Rogers guy to me, "Um, do you want to finish sending your text?"

Darn... oops... forgot to hit delete. How's that for instant feedback, dude?

day 11565: what i've been doing instead of blogging